Everything Inbetween
by kissonthechic
Summary: Ichigo and Renji have had it with women and their confusing mind games. So when the two best friends make a pact to abstain from chicks for good until graduation, it's not the best idea to fall in love…especially if it's with the same girl.
1. One

**Disclaimer:**I own volumes and soundtracks and DVDs of Bleach...so does that count as owning some Bleach? :D

(Just kidding, Tite Kubo owns Bleach, you know, in case you guys have never heard of him before).

**Rated for:** Strong language, sexual content, mention of drugs and drinking

* * *

_**One**_

"I don't remember ever agreeing to this."

"You're my best friend- and best friends do stuff for each other."

"Yeah, well- I draw the line at hiding behind plants to _spy_on elementary school kids!"

It was a typical Wednesday afternoon at the Karakura mall. Teenagers milled around on the premises. The cool kids slouched their shoulders in ways that promised irreversible back pain. Their faces bore expressions that read, hey-look-I'm-so-annoyed-but-it's-cool-'cause-I'm-cool. Ichigo rolled his eyes at this as he rounded a corner and crouched behind yet _another_bench.

Now _he _was truly, genuinely annoyed.

There were a million other things Ichigo would much rather be doing than following Renji follow some little _kid_ around. He was also sixty percent sure that this couldn't be legal. Essentially, they were _stalking_the snot-nosed brat for God's sake.

There was definitely something wrong with this picture: a couple of second year high school students (who unfortunately lacked ninja prowess) darting behind every pot and bench to trail the tracks of a young, white-haired boy who was about half their size.

On the surface, it practically screamed pedophilia. Getting arrested was the absolute last thing Ichigo needed on his transcript (failing calculus looked bad enough already- but really, who the fuck cared about what x equaled anyway? He sure as hell didn't).

And to make matters worse, Ichigo was almost certain that this was the same boy who fled from his sister's bed room window about three nights ago when he walked in to call her for dinner. And if it _did_turn out to be the same guy, his father had a nice, antique sword in the closet that was in need of a good sharpening.

"He's not in _elementary school,_dumbass. Toshiro Hitsugaya is a junior just like us. He skipped a couple grades or whatever. The kid's a fucking genius," Renji hissed. He poked his head through a stalk of ferns to get a closer look.

Ichigo crossed his arms impatiently. "Okay, great. So unless he's plotting world domination, I don't see why you're chasing him down, or more importantly, why you brought me along _with_ you," he snapped.

Renji nudged him in the gut. Ichigo immediately crouched over in pain and shot him a glare. "Why you-"

"Shh! There she is!" he pointed frantically.

Ichigo scanned the area to see who exactly 'she' was. Girl with the leopard print skirt? No. The tall one yapping on her cell phone? Definitely no. He finally caught sight of a petite, raven haired girl standing in front of a vending machine. Her warm eyes practically lit up when she spotted Toshiro from across the mall. Ichigo felt like he was watching a slow motion reunion accompanied by glitter and violins as they ran towards each other.

The sudden sound of a pencil snapping became audible. "That _bastard_! Who does he think he is anyway?" Renji cried out.

Ichigo stared at him with incredulity. Renji had been taking _notes_? If they weren't going to jail before, they were definitely going now. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he scowled.

"That's the girl I was telling you about! Momo, she-" he suddenly paused when Toshiro pulled her into a hug. She blissfully leaned into the boy's chest without any hesitation at all.

Ichigo snickered. "I thought you said that the chick liked _you_. A 'burning desire that couldn't be ignored,' right?"

"She _does _like me damn it!" Renji seethed.

"Her behaviour suggests otherwise," Ichigo muttered under his breath. He propped both elbows onto his bent knees. "How did you know that they would be here anyway?"

Renji ignored him and continued to observe the couple. "Look at how he pops his collar like the douchy- douchebag he is. It's disgusting," he hissed contemptuously.

"Yeah, almost as disgusting as how you used to wear those hippie-ass headband things," Ichigo snorted. "Can we go yet? I'm starving." As if on cue, his stomach growled.

"The girl of my _dreams_is about to go on a date with some child prodigy, and all you can think about is _food_?" Renji exclaimed.

Ichigo absent-mindedly picked at a scab on his arm. "_Yes_," he responded with nonchalance. A man needed to eat after all.

"Come on!" Renji clasped his hand around Ichigo's arm and yanked him up on his feet. "They're going that way!"

Ichigo reluctantly scrambled after Renji as he sprinted past the bustling shoppers. They zigzagged through the tables in the food court until they came across a small ice cream stand. Momo and Toshiro were standing in line. Her small fingers played with the hem of her skirt nervously.

Renji grasped at his head with both hands. "_Ice cream_? They're buying ice cream for fuck's sake! How cliché could he get?" he cried out hysterically.

Ichigo wondered if Renji's displays of envy were symptoms of 'crazy.' He would have to look into that. "Dude, why won't you just admit that you're jealous of the kid?"

He narrowed his eyes at Ichigo. "Because I'm not _jealous_. There has _got_ to be some dirt on the guy, and I'll be the one to find out what it is."

Ichigo stared at the mass of bleached hair attached to boy genius from afar. He certainly wasn't fond of the squirt, _especially_not after that little incident with Karin, but Toshiro didn't seem like the type who had any deep, dark secrets to hide. The kid was probably even passing calculus with flying colours. "Look, Momo isn't the only girl who-"

"Do you see that?" Renji suddenly shook Ichigo's shoulders back and forth. "His hand is just _lingering_around the back of his jean pocket like some suspicious motherfucker. What if he's going to hurt her?"

Ichigo tried to grab Renji by the elbow, but the red-head had already sped off towards Toshiro and Momo. Normally, he would've left at this point, but he couldn't bring himself to abandon his friend who was sure to embarrass himself.

And embarrass himself he did.

Ichigo could hardly watch as Renji crashed into the back of Toshiro, causing an unwanted domino effect. The ice cream cone that Toshiro held in one hand was smothered all over Momo's chest as he lurched forward from losing his balance.

Ichigo cringed before running over to the (literal) mess that Renji had created. But he soon realized that he could not contribute much to this delicate situation.

With Renji absolutely mortified, the ice cream cone completely annihilated, and Momo looking more enraged than a lady should ever look- Ichigo only felt awkwardly disruptive.

"Hey what the _hell_?" Toshiro exclaimed angrily as he spun around to face Renji.

Renji immediately straightened his back. "And just what exactly were you pulling out of your pocket just now?" He swallowed hard.

Toshiro stared at him in disbelief. He reached into his back pocket to reveal a black, leather wallet. "_This_is what I was pulling out," he scoffed as he waved it around. "What are you? Insane?"

Ichigo was beginning to have the same concerns about his broken friend himself.

Momo was glaring daggers at Renji. "Renji, what are you doing here?" she bristled. Her hand reached for a cluster of napkins to wipe the stained fabric of her dress.

"I was just- I was-" he began to sputter.

"_Leaving_," Ichigo cut in as he dragged Renji away from Momo's line of sight. He was afraid that Renji would suddenly explode from the way she was glaring at him. When they were decidedly far enough from the scene, Ichigo gave Renji a hard shove in the shoulder.

"Indirectly smearing ice cream all over your 'dream girl' isn't the best way to get her attention, idiot," he chided.

"You think I don't _know _that?" Renji snapped moodily. "_Shit_." He held his neck with both hands and looked up at the ceiling exasperatedly.

"Just give her a chance to cool down," Ichigo offered dismissively. His phone was vibrating several times in his pocket. He quickly took it out to check what all the fuss was about. There were a couple of missed calls and one unread text.

_Meet me at the diner? :)_

"Who's that?" Renji asked curiously.

Ichigo shoved his phone back into his jean pocket. "Orihime," he said curtly.

Renji rolled his eyes. "Not all of us can have the hottest chick at school lapping at our-"

"Hey, I gotta go alright?" Ichigo quickly interrupted. "Don't go jumping off a building or something stupid like that. I'll see you later." He raised his hand to give a quick salute before turning around.

He heard the sound of Renji's fist make contact with a solid object before he walked off.

"Damn it!"

-※-

The chime of bells tinkled as Ichigo stepped into the quaint restaurant. A faint smell of pancakes and oil wafted in his nostrils. By now, his stomach had a mind of its own.

A pretty, but uptight looking waitress glided over to seat him in a booth by the window. Ichigo found it amusing how all the women here had to wear short skirts and roller skates. This girl was obviously new by the way she kept self-consciously tugging down at her dress. Couldn't say he complained though.

'Sui-Feng' promptly tossed a menu on his table before shuffling off towards another booth. Ichigo raised his eyebrows at how rude this chick was, but whatever. All that mattered was that he was going to be fed momentarily. He picked up the leather bound menu and flipped through the pages with indecision. He was tempted to order _everything_.

The gnawing hunger in his body was lifted for a second when he caught a glimpse of long, ginger hair. His eyes tore away from the paper to look up at the figure standing by his table. Orihime Inoue smiled, and that was all it took to make Ichigo completely forget about the food.

"Hey," he greeted her in a low, baritone voice. She bent over to give him a quick kiss, but Ichigo curled his arm around her waist to pull her closer. His mouth lingered on her jaw, and he allowed himself to inhale the scent of her skin while leaning into her. She bit down on her lips before pulling away from him. Ichigo tried to hide the disappointment that crept on his face.

"Not here!" she reprimanded in a hushed whisper.

Ichigo sighed and folded his arms on the table. How could he help himself? She looked so damn _good_ in that cheesy diner uniform. He opened his mouth to order, but his words were lost when he felt her breath tickle the shell of his ear. "Storage room in the back," she sang.

Ichigo didn't miss a beat. As soon as Orihime skated to the kitchen, he scooted back in his seat and stood up. He began to make his way towards the little corridor where the washrooms were situated. Before he could open the door labeled _Employees Only_, a dainty hand suddenly gripped at his wrist and pulled him into the room. He reached over to shut the door as Orihime wrapped her arms around his back.

Ichigo wasted no time to bury his face in her neck and trail kisses up to her earlobe. She dug her fingers into the expanse of his shoulders to suppress the moan threatening to escape her lips. He quickly backed her against a wall, kissing her into place. She parted her lips to give him hungry, open mouthed kisses that set all of his nerves alight.

He blindly brought his hand to her shoulder blades and fumbled to find the zipper. Groaning, he pressed his chest against hers as she carded her fingers through his hair. The damn zipper was stuck and only exposed a slit of her skin.

Ichigo loosened his hold on the zipper and dropped his hand to the hem of her dress. He didn't care that they were in the storage room of some cheap diner. He was just about ready to _tear_ the lace between her legs. Her hand abruptly clasped over his.

"Wait Ichigo, stop," she said. Her wide, gray eyes blinked up at him. "I hear something."

He peppered kisses down her nose. "What do you hear?" he murmured half-heartedly against her skin. Her cheeks were dusted with a light shade of red.

A loud _thud _was then heard. The door swung wide open.

Ichigo twisted his neck around to see who had barged in. Standing by the doorway was a skinny, pale looking man with dark hair and dismal eyes. "Orihime," was the only word he uttered. His expression remained stone cold.

Admittedly, Ichigo was more pissed off than embarrassed. He shot the man a scowl as he slowly eased off of Orihime. But before he could even conjure up an explanation, he suddenly felt her palms shove him hard against his chest. She pushed past his body and ran right into the vampiric man's arms. "Ulquiorra! This isn't what it looks like! _He _came onto _me_!" she choked out.

Ichigo could only gawk at what was unfolding before his eyes. He felt his lungs constrict.

"Is that so?" Ulquiorra turned his head to face Ichigo. "Then I suggest that you leave. _Now_," he drawled.

"But she-"

"- is clearly aggravated by your presence. There is no room for trash in here."

Ichigo stared at the pasty white hand wrapped around Orihime's hip. It lingered there, and he could see how the man's thumb traced small, affectionate circles on the surface of her dress. Ichigo clenched his hands into fists, feeling anger and humiliation boil together all at once in the pit of his stomach. He took a curt breath and finally marched out of the room, refusing to even glance at Orihime.

Ichigo stormed past the tables until he reached the glass door entrance. He yanked it open and stomped outside, feeling the airy breeze brush against his skin. The door closed behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to take another step. His fingernails left deep, red imprints on his palms as he unfurled his hands.

Orihime had been with another man all this time, and he never even picked up on any hints, not once.

"_Fuck_!" he cried out as he slammed a fist against the stone wall. It felt as if the realization had knocked the wind out of him. He was finding it hard to breathe, _especially _because he had to witness that bastard put his slimy hands on her body.

Ichigo wondered if that man had ever seen her naked.

Then he immediately regretted wondering such a thing because the memory of her body against his was still fresh in his mind.

He considered going back in there and demanding to know just _how long_she had been two-timing him. They had been together for six months, and she left no indication that she was involved with someone else.

But then he reconsidered. He didn't want to know how long she and that guy had been fucking. Not really.

Ichigo pulled out his cell phone and quickly sent a text to Renji.

_I'm crashing your place tonight.  
With alcohol. Lots of it._

* * *

Okay, a slut is the last thing Orihime would ever be. I know.

I like her, so don't worry, there won't be any bashing :) I don't do 'bashing' anyway.

Also, the love triangle thing...never been done before right? I'm so original, I could cry :'D

(Please don't take my notes seriously...but you _could_ press that review button down there :D Wow, it's blue now, guess I've been gone for a while. I shouldn't even be posting this, but the idea refused to leave my head. It would be nice if you could leave a comment telling me whether I should continue or not. Thanks for reading!)


	2. Two

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach, Sailor Moon or Dr. Phil. I used to have that crescent wand thing of Sailor Moon's though...I wish I knew where it was...**  
Notes: **Final exams are the bane of my existence. I hardly had any time to write in these past few weeks! Thank you for all the awesome reviews and alerts :D

* * *

_**Two**_

_ICHIGO AND RENJIS UNDASTRUCTABLE LAIR OF AWSOME SHEENEEGAMI_

Ichigo took a quick glance at the sign that was crudely tacked onto to the side of the tree house. He could hardly believe the pride of his thirteen-year-old self when he had nailed that thing on his own. Now it just looked utterly crooked against the wall with its rusty nails on the verge of coming loose.

As Ichigo took another step up the ladder, he was also beginning to doubt the 'indestructibility' of the fortress. The wood made creaky noises with each movement, thus causing him to flinch every few minutes. When did he get so much _bigger_? He was afraid that the next step would be the death of him (and if not death, then a broken arm at the very least).

Ichigo was finally able to swing himself over the last poking branch to slide in through the open entrance. He gently dropped the heavy bottle of vodka he had been holding onto, and watched as it slowly rolled towards a familiar looking hobo.

"What the hell…" He peered around at the empty bottles of beer cans that were already scattered across the grainy floorboards. He took several steps towards the snoring bum and kicked him in the shin. "Get up, lazy ass," he grunted in a terse tone.

Renji awoke with a jolt. He shot upright and clutched his chest with a hand. "Jesus _Christ, _you scared the crap out of me!" he cried out indignantly. The hood of his zip-up slid off to reveal long locks of red hair tied back with an elastic band. Renji grumbled some incoherent profanities before shifting into a comfortable sitting position. He yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"If people start throwing pennies at us because you look homeless, then you're going to have to find someone else who will tolerate you," Ichigo said dryly. He was dead serious, too.

Renji scratched the back of his neck, finally feeling the effects of the beer he had downed from before. "Shut up," he groaned, but he didn't have the will power to retort with a snappy come back. "How did you know where I was anyway?"

"I decided to invite myself to your house- since you didn't pick up your phone. I figured that you were up here moping or something. And I was right," Ichigo responded with an amused expression on his face. "Oh, and the trail of beer cans kind of helped too. Are you drunk _already_?"

Renji shot him a scowl. "_No_," he scoffed. His head slammed back against the wall dejectedly. The flush on his face immediately gave him away. "And what happened to _you_? You look like crap."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "This coming from the guy who has his Sailor Moon blankie from the fourth grade on his lap. Now _that's _a whole new level of 'looking like crap,'" he said as he gestured towards the throw over Renji's legs.

Renji quickly tossed the blanket off to the side. "No- there is literally _shit _on your pants. What were you doing, rolling around in dirt or something?" His face scrunched up. "And it's not Sailor Moon, it's Sailor _Venus_," he muttered as an afterthought. He finally decided to get up off the floor to resituate himself in a fold chair.

Ichigo looked down at his pants uneasily. Sure enough, there were several brown splotches that stained the jean fabric.

Ichigo Kurosaki was a dignified teenager. He did not venture out into empty fields to fall on his knees. He most definitely didn't lie down in fetal positions either.

And he _certainly_ wouldn't drown himself in his own sorrows.

Often.

"I tripped," Ichigo said dismissively with a wave of his hand. He collapsed into one of the bean bag chairs, allowing his body weight to sink into the plush. "Orihime cheated on me," he finally managed to voice out. His arms dangled listlessly off the sides of the giant sack.

Renji furrowed his eyebrows in disbelief. "Did I just hear you correctly? Inoue _cheated _on you?" he exclaimed. "She hands out pastries in the morning to neighbours. She does not _cheat_."

"Well then I guess she's one hell of a good actress," Ichigo grumbled bitterly. "And the guy who she's seeing wears eyeliner. _Eyeliner _for fuck's sake! She chose a guy who's interested in _makeup_ over _me_!"

"I can see why that would suck," Renji blinked. He made a big gesture with his arms. "Hey maybe he's her gay-best-friend-pet! I heard you could get one of those on the internet or something."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "No, the guy wasn't _gay, _satanic maybe, but not gay. Their relationship was more like…Toshiro and Momo's."

Renji flinched. "Completely uncalled for and downright evil?"

"I was going to say non-platonic, but sure, that too." Ichigo took a deep breath and sighed. "I just- I just don't know what I did _wrong_."

Renji rubbed his chin. "Maybe it's 'cause your irises don't exude mysterious allure."

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "I'm _serious_. I really liked- I mean, I _still_ like her I guess..." he stared at the floor. He was starting to feel that dull ache in his stomach again.

"There are only two reasons why a girl would cheat. One, she didn't really care about you all that much in the first place, or two, you just really suck in bed," Renji held up his fingers.

His friend scowled at him. "_You _suck at making people feel better," Ichigo scoffed. He picked up the glass bottle on the floor and poured some of its contents into a plastic cup. Without hesitation, he quickly downed the liquid and tried to ignore the burning sensation in his throat. He promptly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Renji crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. "Look, I'm sorry, but girls can be so damn _confusing_ sometimes. One day, they'll be making googly eyes at you, and the next day, they'll have no qualms about ripping your heart out and viciously stomping on its remains. "

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Did Momo even _tell _you that she liked you? Or was it all just a figment of 'Renji's Overly Active and Slightly Creepy Imagination?'"

The tall red head quickly jumped up from his seat, almost knocking the chair over. "She didn't _have _to say it because she told me that she trusted me more than anyone else in the whole goddamn world. Doesn't that _mean _something?" he exclaimed irritably.

Ichigo winced and scrunched his face. "Dude, that should've been your first warning- it means that you were _friend-zoned_, buddy."

Renji scowled. "Gee, you're no Dr. Phil either." He raised his hand to rub one eye. "Fuck. This sucks."

Ichigo was beginning to feel a buzz due to the couple of drinks he had had prior to his…excursion to the park. But he wasn't really in a state to care. He poured himself another shot of vodka and gulped it down. "You know what? I'm freaking sick of women thinking they can just do whatever they want and get all weepy about it if they don't get their way."

"'Cause it _works_?"

"_Exactly_! Do you _see _this ball and chain bullshit that we have to endure?" Ichigo cried out zealously. "We don't need _women-"_

Renji squinted. "Actually- I think women are required for the process of reproduc-"

"Fine- then _I _don't need a woman hanging off of me," he cut in. "Whining about how she wants _chocolate. _Every. Fucking. _Minute_. What the hell does that even _mean_?" Ichigo grasped at his hair with both hands exasperatedly.

Renji held his palms up. "Hey, if this is you coming out of the closet, then I'm perfectly okay with that but-"

"What? I'm not _gay _damn it!" Ichigo growled. "I just think that we should take a break from girls for a little while. At least until we've fully recovered from this _grief _that they've caused us."

Renji had his hand clasped around the bottle of vodka, and he would've dropped it too, if he hadn't been careful.

His mouth was gaped wide open. "And you accused _me _of being drunk already?"

- ※-

"Miss Kuchiki, we've arrived," the chauffeur said gently. He pulled open the door for her.

Rukia creased her eyebrows while stretching out her arms. An unintended yawn escaped her mouth as she blinked awake. She squinted at the blinding shaft of sunlight, mentally cursing the morning for all its early…_morningness_. The chauffeur was beginning to look impatient, so she quickly pulled herself up into a sitting position and stepped out of the car.

"Your luggage, Miss Kuchiki."

Rukia turned to face the man. She was still slightly groggy from her nap in the car. "Oh, thanks," she said softly as she reached over to grab the handles. Her daze hadn't lifted yet.

The chauffeur quickly put his hands over the bags. "Don't worry Miss, we'll carry all of your bags inside. Sir Byakuya is waiting for you." He began to pull her suitcases in the direction of the iron gate that loomed over them. She frowned, not exactly used to people doing such simple tasks _for _her. It felt a little insulting, but she knew that they didn't mean for it to seem that way.

Rukia didn't immediately follow the man. He was probably too preoccupied to care anyway. She needed a moment to fully take in her surroundings.

Even though she had lived in Karakura before, she wasn't familiar with this area at _all_. The houses on this road were grand and lavish. It was nothing like the streets of Inuzuri- a small district in the southern end of Karakura- where she had been raised.

Each rosebush was trimmed down with careful expertise.

Rukia took a couple steps forward, but she cautiously started to slow down before entering the courtyard. She brought a hand to her chest and clutched the fabric, gingerly digging her fingernails into her skin. A draft of wind breezed in from behind and pulled a few strands of hair out from her clipped up-do.

She didn't know if she felt ready to meet her brother yet.

Rukia didn't even know that she _had _a brother up until a few weeks ago, when two rich-looking men came knocking on the door of her orphanage back in Osaka. She hadn't exactly gotten a good night's sleep since then. It wasn't everyday that orphan kids found out about their long lost brothers. Or in this case, brother-in-laws.

Rukia had no idea that her older sister, Hisana, had been wedded to some rich businessman before the time of her death. It was a lot- maybe even too much- for Rukia to take in all at once. She should've been overjoyed that he wanted to adopt her, but all she felt was anxiety. She was the complete opposite of what this place represented. So admittedly, it was a little disheartening.

And even though they had provided her with fine clothing prior to the trip, she was still a street ruffian at heart. Byakuya would surely see through her attempted charade. What if he didn't accept her?

She finally sucked in a deep breath and continued to move towards the mansion. Each step was heavy, and almost reluctant.

Honestly, she thought the place looked like some sort of castle. Its architecture was elegant, complete with white pillars and tall windows. But as pretty as it was, there were obvious signs of old age on the framework. The foundation was beginning to crumble at the edges, and brown coloured vines braided up the walls.

"Miss Kuchiki?" the man had paused and was now staring at her from the entrance.

She shifted her attention to him and quickly scrambled to catch up. Rukia tried to suppress the panting that was now threatening to ruin her first impression. The chauffeur stuck a small, silver key in the door and twisted it. A faint _click _was heard before he slowly eased open the door.

Rukia almost stumbled over her two feet as she walked into the spacious foyer. A sparkling chandelier hung high above their heads. Its crystals threw rainbows on every surface. "Wow this place is…_enormous_," she breathed out. There must've been dozens of rooms that were probably left unoccupied.

She wondered how many people were living in this house anyway. No one had bothered to mention anything about roommates to her. But she realized that she wouldn't mind having someone she could tag along with until she settled in.

"I will begin to move your belongings into your room. Sir Byakuya is just in the kitchen."

She stared at him with a blank expression on her face.

"Oh, excuse me Miss. Just continue down this hallway and keep to the left, you won't miss it."

Rukia quietly thanked him and made her way through the corridor. The wooden floorboards were hot beneath her feet. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, warming her exposed shoulders. Once she reached the end of the hallway, she slowly peered in from behind the wall.

A handsome figure dressed in a suit was standing by the counter. He appeared to be staring at the plum blossoms hanging from a tree branch outside. His expression remained stolid.

Rukia nervously stepped out from the corner. "Hey!" she gave a tense wave, but she immediately wanted to slap herself after the too-casual greeting left her lips. "I mean- good afternoon sir!"

Byakuya Kuchiki turned around at the sound of her voice. Rukia thought that she saw his face falter for a second, but it quickly dissolved back into its unstirred countenance. "Rukia," he said her name firmly, as if he was testing it out. "Was your trip to Karakura up to your expectations? It was all we could arrange in such a short period of time."

She blinked. If she had any expectations at all, then they were definitely exceeded beyond her imagination. She still couldn't believe that this was going to be her _home _from now on. "Yes, sir. My trip was very comfortable. Thank you."

"Good. And I assume that you want a tour of the house right away, so I won't keep you for long." Rukia could only watch as he suddenly took a hold of her right hand and pressed something into it.

Rukia directed her puzzled look at the solid object in her palm.

It was a pink cell phone with a Chappy charm attached to it.

"Just in case you need something." Byakuya brought a fist to his lips and cleared his throat. "I um- someone told me that you liked Chappy the rabbit, but if pink-"

She felt her mouth spread into a wide smile. No one had been this sweet to her since- well, she hadn't been treated this nicely before at all. "I love it, thank you for everything, sir."

Byakuya only nodded. "Hanataro is in the foyer. He will assist you to your room."

Rukia quickly thanked him again before making her way towards the kitchen exit.

"Oh and-"

She halted abruptly by the door frame before turning her neck to face him again.

"-you don't have to address me with 'sir.' It's fine," he added curtly.

"Yes si- I mean, brother!" Rukia quickly sped around the corner before he could see the flush on her face.

It took her a whole ten minutes before she could find the foyer again.

Rukia muttered to herself as she finally spotted the familiar chandelier dangling from the ceiling. She _knew _she shouldn't have strayed off to look at that photo of Hisana.

"M-Miss Kuchiki?"

She lifted her gaze off the ground to look at the boy in front of her. This guy was a little on the short side, and his haircut eerily resembled her own- but he seemed kind enough.

"You must be Hanataro," she said with a smile on her face.

The boy was little jumpy and oddly nervous. "Yes, that's me. I'll escort you to your room Miss Kuchiki!" he said hastily.

Rukia blinked a couple of times. "That'd be great, thanks. And I don't mind if you call me Rukia."

"Are you sure Miss Kuchiki?" He drew his eyebrows together.

"Of course. I'd actually prefer it."

Rukia followed Hanataro up the spiral staircase and past all the fancy only-good-for-show rooms. He led her through a long hallway with many closed doors and closets. As they neared the end of the hall, he finally paused in front of one of the doors and pushed it open.

"Here it is," he piped up.

Rukia felt her breath hitch when she saw the sheer _size _of her room. It must've been three times bigger than the one back at the orphanage, and this time she didn't even have to share. One wall was dedicated to a large window that looked over the city skyline.

She was even more excited when she spotted the king sized bed. She didn't know what Byakuya did for a living, but he must've been really good at it.

"Sir Byakuya said that if the room is not to your liking, you can request a renovation…" Hanataro squeaked from behind.

Rukia was so busy admiring the furniture, she almost forgot that he was there. "Huh? No- it's perfect!"

Hanataro was able to conjure up a feeble smile. "I'll let Sir Byakuya know. Would you like to see the rest of the house Mi- Rukia?"

She contemplated this for a moment. Even if he _did _give her a tour of the entire mansion, she'd probably just forget everything by the end of it. Besides, she wanted to explore the place on her own anyway. Perhaps discover some secrets about her family. "Maybe you could show me around the house some other time. But I was wondering if you could…take me to Inuzuri for a bit instead. There's actually someone that I want to see."

An image of a boy with red hair flashed in her mind.

He hesitated to speak for a second. "Inuzuri? You don't want to go there! That's the southern district of Karakura!"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "So what?" she snapped a little too defensively. She inhaled sharply. "I mean- I used to live there before I was taken to Osaka." Her voice softened.

"But that's where all the thugs live- not that I'm saying you're a thug Rukia but- I mean- uh-" Hanataro started to take on a panicky tone. "I'm sorry, but I would have to ask Sir Byakuya for permission to drive you to…Inuzuri." He cringed at the word.

Rukia opened her mouth to protest, but she realized that an argument was the last thing she wanted to have with her brother's workers. She had to be on her best behaviour, at least for now. She plastered a wide smile on her face. "Oh you're right, what was I thinking? In fact, I still have all my luggage to unpack, I should probably get to that right away!" she chirped brightly.

Hanataro folded his hands together and took a couple steps backwards outside of her room. "There's a buzzer on your bedside table if you need anything." With that, he disappeared into the hallway.

As soon as his footsteps were faint, Rukia quietly made her way towards the bed and collapsed on the cushy mattress.

Well, the room was _close_ to being perfect. Now all the bed needed were a couple of cute, stuffed animals and she'd be set.

She turned on her side let her cheek sink into a pillow. Never in a million years did she think she would end up living in some giant mansion. Just yesterday, she had been resting under a cobwebbed roof, listening to the drip of a broken tap. It seemed almost surreal that she was here now.

The nausea that she felt from earlier was beginning to creep back into her system, and it wasn't long before she dozed asleep again.

- ※-

A couple of hours later, Rukia awoke to the sound of a loud, beeping in her ears. She rubbed her eyes before reluctantly groping around her bed for the source of the sound. It turned out to be her new cell phone.

She squinted at the screen to see what it possibly could've been. There was no way that someone could've gotten her number already. _She _didn't even know her own number yet. A voice mail notification was blinking.

Out of curiosity, Rukia opened her mailbox and listened intently. There was a hum of static, so she figured that it was probably just a telemarketer. Then suddenly, weird gurgling voices were heard.

"Oooorihiiiime! You- _you_ squeezed my heart into a bloody pulp, you know that? So now it's just a sad, melting pile of uhhmmm…_mush _and _guts_-"

She widened her eyes.

"Aghhh, but I _love _you, Orihime! I thought that what we had was _special_ damn it! What happened to loving me in every life time? What about _this _life time? Or do you just say that to every guy you meet? _Was our whole relationship a lie? !_ That emo freak doesn't know you like I do! He'll suck you dry- " A pause. "-_literally_! Come baaaack to me-"

More incomprehensible wailing.

The message was cut off when he actually began to _sing_ (in a terrible, off-key voice). Rukia kept the phone to her ear, a little shocked at what she had just heard. This boy was obviously drunk out of his mind, but she couldn't help but feel a _little _sorry for him, whoever he was.

She decided to call back, but after several rings, she was directed to his voice mail. Rukia tried to repress the giggles rising up her throat as she opened her mouth to speak.

"I hate to disappoint you but um...that heartfelt-" she stopped to think of an appropriate word, "-_courtship_ that you just presented will probably never be heard by your girlfriend...Orihime, was it? 'Cause you dialed the wrong number. Sorry bud. Nice effort though, very uh- _bold_ of you. But here's a tip- maybe you should consider buying her flowers instead. I think you have a better chance of attracting frogs if you ever try serenading again. But anyway, good luck! Go get 'em tiger!"

Rukia pressed the button to hang up. She didn't really expect an answer; she was just having a little fun after all.

She finally sat up on her bed and glanced at all of her bloated suitcases. A sigh blew out from her mouth as she trudged over to start taking her belongings out.

It was time to make this place feel like home.

* * *

Sooo I know this chapter was a little slow, but I hope to pick things up in the next one :)


	3. Three

**Edit:** I tried posting this chapter yesterday, but for some reason it didn't show up. Sorry for the second notification!**  
**

**Notes: **You guys don't know how frikken' excited I am to post this. KNOW WHY? 'CAUSE I'VE BEEN SUFFERING FROM NOT HAVING A COMPUTER FOR THE PAST THREE WEEKS!

I spilled milk on my keyboard, and it made that _sszzhhooomm_ noise of death.

So it took three weeks to repair it :( I'm sorry! That's why I haven't updated in so long. My friend has provided me shelter, internet and food in those computer-less weeks.

Anyway, please don't let the length of this chapter scare you. It's longer to make up for the month of no updates ;) Rukia finally meets one of our beloved heros in this chapter, I promise! Thanks for the reviews/favourites/alerts!

* * *

_**Three**_

Of all the crappy hangovers that Ichigo has ever experienced in his crappy lifetime- this one _had _to be the crappiest.

He groggily rubbed both eyes before sitting up, mentally swearing to never drink again. Though this was probably the hundredth time that he's made that same vow, his headache might just be enough for him to really leave alcohol alone for_ever_.

He forced himself to squint at his surroundings. It took him a minute to register that he _wasn't _in the comfort of his own room. He was still on the floor of Renji's tree house- or rather, the ULOAS Fortress. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except for a new piece of 'furniture' that had recently been tacked onto the wall. He eyed the sign suspiciously.

Someone had written "NO GIRLS ALLOWED" in sloppy handwriting on the board.

Why couldn't he recall any of this?

Ichigo reluctantly shoved his hand in his pocket to pull out a cell phone. The screen blinked seven forty a.m.

_And_ it was Monday morning.

"Oh _shit_," Ichigo grumbled as he unwillingly mustered the strength to get up. He clutched the device tightly in his hand, and then cautiously nudged a foot into Renji's sprawled body.

"Mmph…what do you want?" Renji grumbled in a sleepy voice. He squirmed to avoid Ichigo's kicking.

"We have to go to school."

"Errghh…it's the last week before summer…who cares?" he muttered. With that, he pulled the blanket over his head.

Ichigo rolled his eyes.

It had been a Friday afternoon when he came over to Renji's place, but any recollection of the weekend was lost in a collage of hazy images and bleary snap shots. The fruitless effort to rack his brain for ideas only served to intensify the pain he felt. He finally gave up and decided that he and Renji probably didn't do anything illegal in their drunken state anyway.

Besides, an intoxicated Renji only involved a lot of self-deploring, and maybe some tears if he was _really _drunk.

Ichigo silently prayed that they didn't sit around and talk about their feelings all day, 'cause that would be a direct violation to the universal Code of Manliness. In fact, he ought to be arrested for even thinking such a thought.

He quickly shook his head and peered at the screen again. The dozens of new voice mail messages seemed to all be from his father, and he really wasn't in the mood to listen to his old man's bizarre lecturing right now. But he didn't want to risk missing anything important either. With a sigh, he pressed a few buttons before holding the phone up against his ear. He winced at the bravado tone of Isshin Kurosaki's voice.

"Ichigo, this is your father. It's past midnight, and your poor sisters miss you- HEY I DON'T MISS HIM! OOF!_ Oh Masaki_, our daughters have been influenced by the evil world of television violence! What should I doooo-"

_Beep._

"_Ichigo_, it's your old man again. Please come home immediately and _explain yourself_."

_Beep._

"YOU UNGRATEFUL GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SON, GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE SO I CAN TEACH YOU A LESSON!"

_Beep._

"If I find out that you've been doing the hanky-panky at some under-aged drinking party, _then_ _don't expect to have a door to slam when you come home._"

_Beep_.

And just what the hell was _that _supposed to mean?

Ichigo quickly deleted one message after another. But as he scrolled down to the last couple of notifications, his eye caught sight of an unfamiliar phone number blinking on the list. Frowning, he raised the phone to balance it between his shoulder and jaw bone to listen to the message.

A slow scowl began to form on Ichigo's face as a deep, but feminine voice rang in his ears. He didn't have a clue what she was babbling on about, but once he heard her say _Orihime_, his eyebrows immediately drew together. How did _she _know about that?

It was the second when she started to belittle his singing ability that it dawned on him.

Losing his girlfriend wasn't enough, _no_- his dignity also had to be crapped on by a giant lucha libre wrestler, then flushed down the fucking toilet just for a good measure. Ichigo was convinced that he must've been some pretty bad-ass villain in his past life; otherwise, the Higher Beings wouldn't be _this _cruel- right?

He pressed his palm against his forehead in exasperation. "Stupid, stupid, _stupid_!" he groaned.

He could not _believe _that he had drunk dialed Orihime and tried to woo her back with his singing. Wasn't it the brain's job to stop you from doing things that you simply _couldn't _do? To tell you that, "_No_, for the love of God, do not _sing_ because you possess the musical talent of a _dying cat_."

In fact, his sixth grade choir teacher did a very good job of informing him about this…fatal feline voice of his. That's why she had appointed him to be the human music stand for the rest of the year. It was embarrassing, but appropriate nonetheless.

Ichigo supposed that he should've felt relief because the voice mail didn't get to Orihime, but it had been heard by some _other _girl. It was still out there somewhere.

He considered crawling back on the ULOAS floorboards and curling up into a ball. He could contemplate the benefits of adopting a vagabond lifestyle. Change his identity; join a tribe who had also suffered from PHSD (post-humiliation stress disorder).

He would become Goichi Sakikuro. Or Kuroichi Sakigo.

…Okay, so he'd have to come up with a better name later.

Ichigo stared at the number. Admittedly, he was intrigued by this girl's tawdry response. And although the floorboards looked awfully inviting, he _had _to hold onto his last shred of dignity. Also, what if she decided to use this embarrassing piece of evidence against him?

Well, unless she lived in another district of course- but it was better to be safe than sorry.

Without a second thought, he quickly pressed the green _call _button and waited for each ring.

He began to speak into the receiver.

- ※-

"Um, is it just me, or is that girl giving me a weird look?" Renji frowned as he gestured towards the brunette leaning against a locker. She immediately averted her gaze.

"I dunno, merbay chu aff shumfing on yer ferce," Ichigo responded with a piece of toast dangling from his lips. He hastily scarfed down the rest of it, then wiped the remaining crumbs off his mouth.

Renji immediately rubbed at his face to get rid of any grime. But as they proceeded to saunter down the hallway, more odd stares were thrown in their direction.

Ichigo hooked two fingers around the strap of his bag and lazily slung it over his shoulder. "Ookay, this is getting a little weird…" But he figured that he was probably just imagining things; he was still braving through his headache after all.

The two of them headed towards the cafeteria to meet up with the rest of their friends, but they were rudely intercepted by none other than Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. The blue-haired boy had a tantalizing smirk dancing on his lips as he casually crossed his arms.

"What do you want, Jaegerjaquez?" Renji automatically spat out.

"Jeez, what crawled up _your _ass today?" Grimmjow rolled his eyes. The grin on his face didn't fade though. "And anyway, I was just going to congratulate you two love doves. I knew you guys would expose your true feelings for each other sooner or later," he snickered.

Ichigo shoved himself forward. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Grimmjow only laughed and began to walk away. "Guess this means that Orihime is up for grabs now, huh?" He waved dismissively.

"Hey- don't you dare lay a hand on Orihime! Come back here and-"

Renji pulled Ichigo back. "Don't _provoke _him!"

The ginger scoffed and wiped the corner of his lip with his knuckles. "I'm going to _kill _that guy one day, I swear," he grumbled.

They continued to make their way to a table closest to the kitchen. Multiple girls tried to stifle their giggles as they passed by.

Renji finally halted in annoyance when another one pouted at him. "Okay, that's _it_! Did I miss something? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that I haven't grown another head- or any other extra body part for that matter- in the past few days. What's going _on_?" he shouted loudly.

"Oh you adorable little ducklings!" a pitchy voice suddenly squealed.

Rangiku Matsumoto strode towards them in all her curvaceous glory. She took a lock of Renji's hair in her fingers. "Such a shame, really." He quickly jerked his neck back.

"Why the hell is everyone _staring_ at us?" Ichigo demanded firmly as he slammed his palms onto a table.

Rangiku blinked her ice blue eyes with an air of innocence. "What do you mean? You two disappointed the entire female population of Karakura High."

Ichigo widened his eyes.

Oh God. He knew it.

He and Renji _did _discuss their feelings, didn't they? And the two of them probably played patty-cake while they were at it. Some damn pervert must've filmed them in the tree house or something and distributed the video to the entire school and-

"Does this ring any bells?" Rangiku held out her cell phone with a dainty hand.

Ichigo clawed at his face when he realized that his theory was true. _My life was so short_, he thought disdainfully. He reluctantly peeked through his fingers when the video started playing. Renji leaned in to squint at the phone as well.

Granted, a red head and a ginger graced the screen. They were both on the floor and facing the camera with flushed expressions.

Ichigo winced at the sight of himself. He mentally appealed to Gods that, if he didn't shed tears in the video, he would never leave the toilet seat up again. Or only rinse the dishes with water and call it a day. Or feed their neighbour's dog with Orihime's cooking repeatedly (although he probably didn't have to worry about this one anymore).

In fact, he would become a _Saint_- as long as he wasn't filmed crying his eyes out.

Drunk Renji lifted his cup in the air and began to speak. "I, Re- Renji Abarai! Yes me! Hereby promise to uhh…never ever _ever_-" He paused as his drink sloshed onto the ground. His shoulders then shrugged nonchalantly. "-what was I saying again? Oh yeah, to never ever _ever _objectify women again!"

Drunk Ichigo shot him a glare and elbowed his side. "Whaaat? That wasn't the damn deal!"

"Hold your fucking horses, I'm _getting _there," Drunk Renji snapped moodily. He turned to face the camera. "Aaaand I will not get romantically, sexually, whatever-y involved with another chick…until I graduate!"

The tipsy ginger suddenly raised his cup as well, then opened his mouth. "And I, Ichigo Kurosaki, hereby swear to- oh fuck, I think I just puked in my mouth." He wiped his lips before resuming his speech. "_I hereby swear_ to not get into another relationship either…not until I vamoose from this hell chamber! No more hook ups, dates, or commitments. No _nothing_!" he declared with alacrity. "_TO FREEDOM_!"

Renji raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean, 'to no women?'"

"_Same thing!_"

They cheered and bumped their cups before taking more gulps.

"And if one of us break the rules, then…"

"The traitor'll have to go streaking in the school," Renji sniggered.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Plus he will be exiled from our friendship circle- _for all eternity_! And and he'll have to sit at the dweeb table during lunch time."

"We have to pinky-swear on this to seal the oath." Renji held out his hand.

"Dude, I'm not 'pinky-swearing' you."

"But we have to-"

"_No_-"

Rangiku turned off her phone and slipped it back in her purse. "See? Honestly, I think you two should just come to school naked _anyway_. I'm sure many girls will appreciate it," she smirked.

Renji brought his hand to his chest as exhaled in relief. "Oh thank fuck," he sighed out.

Ichigo clutched his hair with both hands and stared at his friend in disbelief. "What the hell is there to thank? I don't even know what I just watched!"

"By the way Grimmjow was talking, I thought we held hands and sang love songs to each other or some gay crap like that!" he retorted. "Jesus."

Ignoring Renji, Ichigo quickly turned to face Rangiku. "How did you get a hold of this video?" he asked her sharply.

She raised her eyebrows in bemusement. "Huh? You guys uploaded it on the internet last night, remember? So are you _really _going to shun us lovely women from your lives for such a _lengthy_ amount of time?" Rangiku pouted with her full lips.

He glared at her. "We were _drunk _damn it! Can't you tell? And of course no_-_"

Renji suddenly grabbed Ichigo's arm. He began to lug him out towards the doorway. "We um- have to get to class now! Later, Matsumoto!" he blurted out hastily.

Ichigo almost lost his balance as he was forcefully dragged along. "Hey- w-wait a minute! Where the hell are we going?" he cried out.

Renji yanked Ichigo down the hallway until they reached a door that lead to the school courtyard. He quickly pulled it open so both of them could stumble outside. A strong gust of wind mussed up their hair. They finally slowed down to a clumsy stop.

Ichigo immediately drew his hand back and stiffly crossed his arms. "What the hell is your problem? We have our names to clear!" Irritably, he turned around and started to march back inside.

The red head stood his ground. "And just what exactly are you going to do? Hijack the PA system and declare, 'Hey guys, listen up! I'm Ichigo Kurosaki, so don't mind that video of me being my stupid self, 'cause I'm single and ready to mingle, ladies!'" Renji's brows knit together. "Is that what you want? A _rebound_?" he exclaimed.

Ichigo thought back to the voice mail that he had sent to that strange girl.

_Yes_, a small voice squeaked in the back of his head. That was _precisely_ what he wanted. No point in being ashamed about it.

He paused in his steps, and turned around to face his friend again. He then sucked in a deep breath. "I don't know _what_ to do, okay? I don't know how to get over Orihime. I don't know if I ever _will-_"

"Go join the sewing club with Ishida if you're going to talk like that," Renji cut in tersely. He let out a slow breath. "I can't believe I'm saying this but…another girl on your arm won't be the solution- because she's _not _gonna be Orihime."

Ichigo gave him a blank stare. He blinked several times before casually reaching over to flick Renji's forehead. "Who are you…and what have you done to my friend?"

Renji immediately swatted his hand away. "Shut up! It was your idea anyway. Drunk or not, girls are always trouble." He peered at the sullen expression on his friend's face. "No girls, no trouble. Right?"

Ichigo directed his stare to the concrete floor. He was surprised at Renji's determined look. Perhaps his 'relationship' with Momo was much more serious than he had initially thought.

He bit down on his lip as a memory of Orihime played in his head.

It was mid-July, and the fabric of her flimsy, white sundress was sticking to her skin in the heat. The two of them were lounging about on the porch of her yard, and she was lying down with her head in his lap. They were playing the '_what if_' game, and she had somehow settled on the topic of a robot apocalypse or something like that- he couldn't remember.

But what he _did _remember was how beautiful she looked right then, with her tangerine locks spread across his jeans, and her big, gray eyes blinking up at him in wonder. He had stopped listening to her a while ago- because he just couldn't concentrate anymore; his heart was about to burst right out of his chest. _"What if I told you that I loved you_?_" _he had hurriedly blurted out on impulse. His face was probably searing red with embarrassment, but she had only laughed while reaching out to touch his lips.

Now he wanted to kick himself for being so stupid.

"Are we really going to do this?" he asked quietly.

"I feel like better man already."

He scoffed. "We're going to regret it tomorrow morning, aren't we?"

Renji raised his arm to scratch the back of his neck. "Probably."

Ichigo sighed, but there was a half-hearted smile tugging at the corner of his mouth now. He quickly spat in his hand and held it out. "Fine then- I'm in." He swallowed hard. "Girls are no longer an issue for us."

Renji grinned. He followed suit and also produced a generous wad of spit in his hand as well. He firmly gripped at Ichigo's and shook it. "Agreed."

A couple of seconds later, Renji's face began to falter.

"What's the matter?"

"_Aw man!_" he exclaimed dejectedly. "I forgot about the _pool parties _this summer!"

- ※-

Rukia stared at the school map. It _looked_ like she was in the central wing, but she couldn't be sure. After all, this place was colossal in size.

With an exasperated sigh, she carefully folded the map in quarters and shoved it back into her bag.

It was almost three o'clock, and she had been aimlessly roaming the hallways of Karakura's prestigious Seireitei High for a couple of hours now. She was supposed to locate the headmaster's room to pick up some brochures, but she could hardly direct herself to the _washroom,_ let alone the main office.

In spite of her meek protests, Byakuya had insisted that she go visit the building that she was enrolled in for the following school year. He wanted her to "get familiar" with the public school system, but she didn't see why she couldn't do all of that in September. In fact, she had already gotten herself lost.

With the exception of a few lingering students, the halls were pretty much empty because class was still in session. She had yet to come across a friendly face that seemed willing to help her through this maze. Everyone passed by her without so much as a glance.

She wondered if it had something to do with her appearance.

Sure, the dress she was wearing was a little frayed at the edges, but she thought it still looked pretty. Or maybe she just exuded an aura of 'poor.' These people probably had the super power to detect someone's _income_.

But then she realized something- she wasn't Orphan Rukia anymore. She was Rukia who lived in a mansion, owned a revolving shoe rack, and had a big, blue button that beckoned people to her room now. (And although she told herself not to let any of it to go to her head, she had to admit that the revolving shoe rack was pretty cool).

Rukia pulled out her cell phone. Maybe she could call Hanataro to get her out of here. Over the weekend, he had warmed up to her during his frequent tidy-up sessions in her room. She thought Hanataro was sweet, but he was also awfully loyal to Byakuya- so then again, he probably _wouldn't _come over to pick her up. An audible groan escaped her lips.

It was then when she noticed the familiar voice mail notification flashing on her screen again. She hadn't gotten a chance to look at her phone until now, but it said that the message was received this morning. Frowning, she pressed a button and held the device to her head.

"Hey." A male's voice tickled her eardrums.

Rukia immediately felt her body tense. It sounded like the same boy who had accidentally left that pathetic voice mail on her phone two days ago. But this time, he was clearly sober, and his tone seemed forcibly lower.

"About that message I recorded…I hope I didn't say anything that offended you- I wasn't exactly in a good place. But you know what? I bet you're cute, I can tell by your voice. Maybe I could make it up to you over coffee? I'll buy. I'll even bring flowers if you want. See you around."

She almost dropped her phone when it beeped in her ear. Rukia scrambled to get a firm grip on it before she clumsily stuffed it back in her bag. She could feel her face flushing.

Okay, so the boy was somewhat suave. And his voice was really smooth. And- she quickly shook her head.

So _what_?

The scumbag was asking her- a complete _stranger_- on a date right after he proclaimed his undying love for his (presumable) ex-girlfriend. Who in the right mind would pull that kind of crap? He probably had a huge ego that was in dire need of deflating.

…But she couldn't refuse free coffee, right? Well- she didn't drink coffee, but she could order tea. She _loved _tea. Besides, she wanted to make a friend in this town anyway, and this seemed like a good opportunity.

(Unless he was a rapist, but if that was the case, she had practiced martial arts since she was a child).

Feeling a bit giddy, she decided to send him a text message instead. She slowly thumbed in the letters, still unaccustomed to the contraption's touch pad.

_So the flowers didn't work on her, huh? No, ofc they didn't, 'cuz then you wouldn't be pathetically asking me out if they did. U need a _lot _more practice in properly charming a grl. But lucky for u, I have time on my hands to help u :) Skip the flowers & bring me a box of Chappy chocolates instead_. _I'll even grade u on ur choice of clothing rite down 2 ur methods of courtship. Sound good? _

With a renewed air of confidence, Rukia proceeded to walk down the hallway in long strides. She wanted to hurry up and find that office so she could get out of this place as soon as possible.

At the corner of her eye, she spotted a folded slip of paper float by her feet. She took a look around before curiously bending over to pick it up. The paper was compacted so tightly, it was almost a ball. After quickly glancing at her surroundings again, she carefully opened up the sheet and scanned its contents. In some illegible chicken-scratch, it read: _Meet me at the school court yard. I'll be waiting. _

Rukia's large, blue eyes got even wider. Oh lord. If this was the same person who sent her that voice mail…

She held the note to her chest, feeling a slight sense of panic. Only three days in this place and she already had a creepy stalker? She chewed on her bottom lip. That guy must've tracked her down with her phone number! What if he was some psycho maniac who lured naïve girls in and cut up their bodies to _eat_? What if he was watching her _right now_?

Rukia kneaded her knuckles over her eyes. How could she have been so _careless_?

She frantically grabbed her cell phone again, wondering if it was at all possible to…_un-send _a text message. But after a good twenty seconds of worrying, she finally got a hold of herself and regained her composure.

She was overreacting. The letter probably wasn't even _for _her. And that voice mail was sent in the morning. There was no way that someone could've located her whereabouts _that _quickly. She would find the court yard and return the letter to whoever had written it.

She began to walk.

Two dead ends and three hallways later, Rukia was just about ready to give up when she saw another human being at last. A girl with long, yet spiky black hair was in the midst of raising her leg to kick a vending machine.

Rukia approached her cautiously.

The girl stopped and immediately put her leg down when she acknowledged Rukia's presence. She blinked at her, looking a little embarrassed. "Oh, hi. Didn't see you there. Do you…need help with anything?"

Rukia smiled politely. From afar, she had thought this girl looked a little boyish, but she could now see that she was actually quite pretty. "I um- sorry about bothering you, but I was wondering if you could tell me where the court yard is…?"

The girl returned a small smile. "Yeah, sure. It's actually just up there- I'll walk you." She started to lead the way.

Rukia took a few hurried steps forward to catch up. The pair walked a few meters up until they came across a glass door. "Here it is!" the girl piped up.

Rukia nodded gratefully as she extended her arm to push the door open. "Thanks!"

"No problem." She began to pad back to the vending machine.

Rukia carefully made her way outside. She appeared to be entering a garden of some sort, bursting with colourful flowers and lush foliage. No one was there though. Slowly, she walked down the concrete lane while taking the time to admire the plants. Moments later, her ears picked up on some rustling noises.

"AH-HAH!"

Someone suddenly jumped out from one of the bushes with arms wide open.

Rukia screamed from shock as she took a nervous step back. She held her hand over her chest to calm herself. Her heart was thundering hard against her ribcage, and she was already exerting shallow pants.

"What's with that face? But _wow _you're even prettier than the last girl who came! She was kind of mean because she slapped me right across the face, but you wouldn't do that right? Aren't you happy to see that I'm handsome, willing, and did I mention- _handsome_ boy? Come into my arms you beautiful nymph!"

The boy with medium brown hair and a slightly upturned nose came charging towards her. Out of instinct, Rukia swiftly ducked under one of his arms and kicked him from behind. He stumbled and fell forward onto the ground.

Ah, the quirks of being petite.

But he seemed to be unfazed as he rose right back up. "Okay, beautiful _ice _nymph, but no matter! I like my girls strong!" He stuck out his hand. "Keigo Asano, at your service!"

Rukia stared at the hand, unsure of whether she should shake it or not. This guy seemed a little…well, _insane_.

"Leave her alone, you perverted idiot!" A rough, female voice shouted from behind.

Rukia whirled around to see that girl from before again. She was marching towards them with her sleeves rolled up. Rukia winced as the chick gutted 'Keigo' right in the stomach.

"Tatsuki," he grunted in pain. "Hi."

"Don't 'hi' me! Stop harassing everything that wears a skirt, you damn moron!"

So her name was Tatsuki.

Keigo seemed to have miraculously recovered in a matter of seconds. He straightened his back and held up one index finger. "But she read the note, and she came here herself! So technically I'm not harassing her if she walked in on her own will!" He childishly stuck his tongue out and pulled down the skin under his eye.

Tatsuki rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "Shut up Asano." She turned to face Rukia. "I'm sorry about him, but he's really not a bad guy if you look past- _way _past- his perverted antics." She shot a glare at Keigo again.

"I didn't catch your name earlier, but I'm Tatsuki Arisawa."

"I'm Rukia Kuchiki," she responded, still a little overwhelmed.

"Such a lovely name for a lovely woman!" Keigo managed to get out.

Tatsuki narrowed her eyes at him. "And you've been dropping fake notes again? I swear, you're gonna get yourself killed one day. Girls don't _like _bullshit," she growled at him.

"Whatever, you're a hardly a girl, so I don't need to listen to yoooooouuuu!" Keigo hollered as he sped off back inside.

Somehow, Rukia figured that he was just afraid of getting pummeled by Tatsuki. "Thanks for um- _that_," she said softly. "But what did you mean by 'fake notes?'"

Tatsuki scoffed and dismissively waved her hand in the air. "Keigo likes to write all these dumb love notes and put them in girls' lockers 'cause the guy can't get a date the normal, socially acceptable way." She let out a laugh. "But just punch him in the face and he'll go running. Or say that you like reading, either one is fine. He'll probably come back for another try though."

Rukia found herself exhaling in relief. At least he wasn't a crazy stalker. Well, not the stalker part at least. "Oh, okay," she said chirpily. "I guess I should him commend for his…persistence."

"Please, don't commend him for anything. Keigo's my friend, but he's totally pathetic. Anyway, I haven't seen you around before. Are you new?" Tatsuki raised an eyebrow as she leaned against one of the arches.

"Er- kind of, not really. I'm going to this school next year. Summer vacation is almost starting right?"

"Yeah, but it's not coming soon _enough_. One more week to plow through and we're outta here." Tatsuki looked up at the sky with a wistful expression.

So far, Tatsuki had been nice, and Rukia hoped that it wouldn't hurt to ask one more question. She gingerly folded her hands together. "This is a little random but…do you know how to get to Rocky's Delight from here?"

Rocky's Delight was a quaint little diner in the downtown area of Karakura.

Tatsuki's face lit up. "D'you mean the diner? My best friend works at that place!" she exclaimed. "I can take you there after school if you want."

Last Saturday, Rukia had applied for several jobs because she didn't want to depend on Byakuya for _everything_. She had to show him that she wouldn't be the spoiled brat who wasn't appreciative of his hospitality. It just seemed like the right thing to do, and luckily, she had been called for an interview for today.

A wide grin stretched across Rukia's face. "Really? That'd be great! Apparently, I'm terrible with directions." She smiled weakly while gesturing at the school.

"Here, hand me your phone, I'll punch my number in."

Rukia nodded and passed her pink device to Tatsuki.

Tatsuki gently took it from her hand and began to tinker with the buttons. She frowned when she saw what was on the screen.

"Hey, why do you have Ich-" Tatsuki suddenly paused when she noticed something through the glass door. "Shit- it's my teacher! I gotta run, but I'll call you in a bit! Bye!" She quickly shoved the phone back to Rukia and took off in the opposite direction.

"Bye!" Rukia called out after her. She inhaled deeply and turned around to reenter the building. She was grateful for meeting Tatsuki. Now she didn't have to worry about getting lost in the city later.

She proceeded to make a right turn into another wing.

But the longer she wandered, the more confused she got. The layout of the school was all over the place. As she was about to go down the stairs, a loud ringing noise suddenly reverberated in her ears, causing her to jump a little in surprise. Seconds later, crowds of students began to pour out from the classrooms. They met up with their other peers and walked in big groups, almost sweeping Rukia in with the current.

Rukia made a break for a corner in the wall and waited for the throng of people to subside. She realized that school for finally over for the day and everyone was rushing to get home. Of course they'd be rowdy. Once the mob dispersed, she took a couple steps forward.

Her entire face beamed when she spotted the _MAIN OFFICE _sign above a room situated a couple of meters away. She immediately jogged towards the door, disregarding all the weird looks that some people gave her. But as she got closer to the room, she was abruptly interrupted by a trio of looming men.

The ugliest of the three leaned in towards her. She decided to nickname him Muscle Head # 1. "Hey little bunny," he smirked. "Are you lost?"

Rukia staggered back. His breath reeked of cigarette smoke and mustard. "No, I'm really not. Well I was, but now I'm completely on track, yup- so if you would just move aside-"

Muscle Head #1 started to chuckle. "You're really cute, you know that?" he said in a suggestive tone. He started to pad forward, pushing Rukia flat against the wall. His hand outstretched to trap her.

She swallowed. Was this entire school made up of hormone-driven idiots?

"Gee thanks, but I _really _need to get somewhere and you're kind of in my way…"

He licked his lips. "I need to get somewhere too, but I don't know where you live. Perhaps you could…show me?" He tilted her chin upwards with his thumb and index finger.

Rukia sunk her teeth into her lip to keep from bursting out in laughter. She didn't think that such lame pick-up lines were even a _thing _anymore. But this was the last straw, she _really _wanted to go home. She lifted her hand and prepared to shove him in the chest, but before she could, the boy was suddenly pulled off of her in the blink of an eye.

Orange was what she saw.

A tall boy with bright _orange _hair had yanked the guy away by the shoulder and was now holding him up by the collar. "Can't you take a hint?" he snarled. "The girl doesn't _like _you. So apologize."

Rukia stared at them with wide eyes. She didn't think escape would come in the form of a carrot crowned male, but she'd take it. She started to inch away from the scene, though it proved to be difficult with the two other guys standing around.

"You don't scare me, _Ichigo Kurosaki_," Muscle Head #1 sneered back. He made a quick move to pull away from said boy's grip. His hands lowered to smooth down the wrinkles on his shirt. "Besides, I thought _Inoue_ was your little girlfriend."

The ginger ignored his comment and spoke through grit teeth. "Say _sorry _to her, you bastard!"

"What, is she your sister or some shit?"

"If she was my sister, then you'd be dead," the ginger spat out darkly. "You should've just apologized." He grabbed MH1 again and aggressively slammed him into the railing of a nearby staircase. The sound of bones crushing echoed in the hall.

MH1 laid in a sprawled position on the floor as he moaned in pain. A string of profanities were grumbled under his breath coarsely.

Ichigo turned around to face MH2 and MH3. "Don't just stand there like a couple of of dumbasses- take him to the fucking nurse's office!" he yelled at them.

With frightened expressions on their faces, they clambered about to lift MH1's body off the ground. But right when Rukia was about to leave, a shrill shriek was heard. A plump woman hastily dawdled over to them. "What happened here? !" she cried out as she motioned towards the boy on the floor. She turned her attention to Rukia and Ichigo. "You two! What did you do to these poor men?"

MH2 and MH3 started to cower back, taking full advantage of their victim role. Rukia rolled her eyes at this. She raised her palm up. "Miss, _I _didn't do anything-"

The woman was in hysterics now when she saw the blood dripping from MH1's nose. "Didn't _do _anything? ! That poor boy is lying on the ground _bleeding _for God's sake!"

Ichigo stepped in front of Rukia. "He was harassing her so-" he tried to say.

But the teacher didn't listen. She pulled out a small pad of paper and tore off two sheets. She took out a pen and scribbled a couple of notes before forcing them into their hands. "Detention! The both of you! _Now_. I will personally speak with you later, Kurosaki," the lady spoke in a clipped tone. Her heels spun around sharply and she clacked off down the hallway.

Rukia stared in disbelief. "But I don't even go to this school! This- this has _got _to be illegal!" she sputtered. "You can't _detain _me!" She began to move towards the lady with a raised fist, but she felt someone firmly grasp her arm and pull her back.

"Come on, you'll only get in more trouble."

Rukia spun around to face the boy. She jerked her arm away. "You're the reason why we're _in _trouble!" she exclaimed angrily.

She had to get to that interview on time. It was her only chance to prove that she could be independent in the Kuchiki household.

The boy's face contorted into a scowl as he pointed to himself. "_Me_? I'm the one who _saved _you from a life-scarring experience! You should be thanking me!"

Rukia crossed her arms and turned away from him. "I could've handled it myself!" she said snippily.

"Like hell you could've! Look at you, you're practically miniature!" he scoffed while gesturing at her frame.

She couldn't _believe_ the impudence of this guy! "Oh shut up! I need to be somewhere, okay? Can we just get this over with?" She huffed impatiently.

"Fine by me." Ichigo unclamped his hand and glanced at the slip of paper. "It says that it's in room B150, so it's just down here."

He started to lead her through a narrow hallway. The two of them walked for a couple of minutes in silence, but he was the first to speak. "By the way- what's your name?"

"It's Rukia Kuch-"

"Shortcake it is then," he cut in brazenly.

Rukia clenched her fists and fumed. Why oh why was she stuck with this _blockhead_? Her height wasn't exactly of average, but at least she didn't have abnormal hues of hair colour! "And what's _your_ name?" she snapped. "_Carrot top_?"

"Gee, I've never heard _that _one before," he spoke sarcastically. "But no, my name is Ichigo Kurosaki."

They approached a door that had _B150 _etched above it. He reached out to turn its knob.

Rukia raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Wow, Strawberry huh? Real macho. It just _screams _masculinity-"

Ichigo whirled around and shot her an irritated look. "It means 'Number One Protector' damn it!"

She only smirked. "Whatever you say, _Ichigo_."

They stepped into the room and peered around expectantly. An adult with shaggy blonde hair and sleepy eyes greeted Ichigo. "Hey!" he drawled with jovial undertones. "Haven't seen you here in a while- which is a good thing I suppose. No one's been keepin' your seat warm."

Rukia frowned when the man put his legs up on the table. Was this guy really in charge? "Who's that?" she whispered.

"Urahara Sensei," Ichigo replied in a hushed voice. He walked towards one of the chairs and planted himself in it. Reluctantly, Rukia did the same in the table behind him. She slumped down in her seat and let out her millionth groan of the day.

"Welp, I'm off to get myself a cup a' joe. Behave yourself, kids! I'll be back in ten." Urahara got up from his sitting position and strolled out through doorway. The students in the room started buzzing almost instantly once his footsteps were out of earshot. Ichigo swung his legs around and sat in the chair improperly to face her. His forearms were now casually propped on the surface of her desk.

She didn't like how his sharp, brown eyes were staring at her, as if he was trying to read her mind or something. Rukia felt her cheeks fluster. Okay, so the guy had a handsome face. He was still an asshole- and a big one at that. Being a jerk trumped all of his blessed genetics anyway.

"I don't want to look at you," she muttered. "You ruined my only chance at happiness in this town."

He gave her a bemused expression. "Geez, you get melodramatic when you're angry."

"Honestly, if you didn't _maim _the guy, we wouldn't even be in this mess!"

Ichigo narrowed his eyes. "Fine then, if I ever see you getting attacked by a group of troglodytes again, I'll just slip in a warning about your bratty attitude and be on my jolly way."

Rukia bit down on her tongue to keep from snapping back. The _nerve _of him! She decided that she would have to be the mature one in this non-relationship. Sniping with this idiot would only waste her breath, and he'd probably conjure up another snarky remark to make her blood boil. She opened her mouth to speak. "So who _were_ those guys?"

He frowned at her question. "Well, the ugly one is Pizza Face, the short one is Stumpy, and the tall one is Moron," he said nonchalantly. "They're really not worth remembering."

Rukia sighed as she stole a glance at the mingling students. "I guess not…" She dug around in her bag and pulled out her phone. It was already half past three, and she needed to be at the diner by _four_. Also, there were a couple of missed calls from Tatsuki.

_Crap_, she had forgotten all about that! Panic was beginning to settle in. "Is there any way to get out of here _faster_?" she burst out despairingly.

Ichigo brushed a speck of dust off his sleeve. "You could let Urahara Sensei feel you up," he said dismissively. Then he glanced at her."Oh wait- you don't _have _anything to feel up. So, tough luck."

Her face twisted into a menacing glower. "You're a pig," she bristled as she started to dial Tatsuki's number.

Right at that moment, Urahara Sensei walked back into the classroom with a cup of coffee in one hand and a burger in the other. She quickly hid her phone under her bag.

"So I see you guys are getting acquainted with each other quite nicely. But you can do all that in your seats. All you delinquent children need to just _relax!_ You've still got about-" he glanced at his watch, "- oh, maybe half an hour left." He walked back to the desk and pulled out a magazine to thumb through.

Rukia couldn't help but roll her eyes again.

Ichigo casually folded his arms behind his head. "Lighten _up_, I was only kidding. That stuff is overrated anyway. Besides, I think Urahara would gladly feel _any_ woman up, to be honest," he added.

"I don't _care _about Urahara! I just want to get to my job interview on time!" she cried out. She rubbed her temples with her fingers in exasperation.

Yawning, he turned back around in his seat and pulled something out of his pocket. Probably a cell phone- she couldn't see. But how _rude_! Not that she wanted to small talk with him anyway, but he could've been a _little _less blatant.

Ichigo then exhaled loudly and started to get up on his feet.

"Where are _you _going?" She lifted an eyebrow at him.

He stopped, then leaned over until his face was much too close for comfort. She didn't like the smirk creeping on his lips. "To the _washroom_," he pronounced amusedly. With that, he shoved his hands into his pockets and gave Urahara Sensei a quick nod before sauntering out of the room.

Jesus, he must've spent a lot of time in detention to ask the teacher permission without even opening his mouth. Rukia guessed that they probably had a whole array of gestures that indicated different things.

She clutched the hem of her skirt tightly. She honestly didn't even know why she was complying with this anyway. If it wasn't for that orange haired fool, she would have booked it out of this place the moment she had the chance to. She wasn't even a student here- it was outrageous! She wondered if Byakuya had any lawyers…

Realizing how ridiculous this whole thing was, Rukia grabbed her bag and briskly stood up from her seat. She marched over to the front desk.

"Urahara Sensei," she said while gripping the handle tightly.

He tore his stare away from the glossy pages to look up at her. "Yes?"

Despite his blithe demeanor, he was a little intimidating up close.

She nervously fidgeted on the spot. "I'm sorry for disturbing you, but I actually don't go to this school, so I don't think that-"

A shrill ringing noise suddenly penetrated her eardrums. Urahara shot up from his seat and projected his voice across the room with surprising efficiency. "Okay everyone! Guess detention is cut short for today! All of you, line up in front of the door, and _don't panic_- an idiotic staff member probably just burned his taco in the microwave! Stay _quiet_," he shouted.

Each student made their way to the door and started to chatter amongst themselves over the clanging noise. Rukia pressed her palms on her ears as they were all led down the hallway and out through a door marked _EXIT. _Once they were outside, the students dispersed to find their friends. Large clusters of teenagers and teachers were gathered in the heat, all waiting for the fire department to show up.

Rukia reached into her bag once again. She noted that this was the perfect opportunity to call Tatsuki and see whether or not if her offer still stood. As she sifted through the contents, she felt a foreign texture graze her skin. She held the slip between her fingers and pulled it out to see what it was.

It was the wrinkled detention paper that she had been given earlier. Rukia turned it over, widening her eyes at its contents.

_You're welcome, Shortcake_, it read.

* * *

Holy guacamole, fanfiction looks different every time I sign in. I like the no-pop-up review thing though!

I know they're a little bit OOC, but I'll try to keep them as true to their original character as possible. Please leave a comment :D

Also, I have nothing against homosexuality. I know that I had Renji say "gay crap," but I just thought it was be something that would come out of his mouth. I'm really sorry if that offended anyone, I didn't mean to :S


	4. Four

**Notes**_**: **_Thank you guys so much for the feedback! Again, I hope you don't mind the longer chapters! Enjoy!

* * *

_**Four**_

While Rukia waited for Tatsuki, she spent her time analyzing the detention slip. She was beginning to get increasingly frustrated with what it implied, and the only plausible explanation that came to mind was:

_He must be insane._

…_Or_ he had ulterior motives. Either way, Rukia felt uneasy. She curled her fingers around the note and crumpled it into a ball. Her eyebrows knit together pensively as she contemplated whether or not she should thank the guy. She didn't like owing people favours, _especially_ not to those who managed to insult her _three _times in less than fifteen minutes.

Rukia snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a car honk from a distance.

She spotted Tatsuki pulling up to the sidewalk in a rusty blue vehicle. The spiky haired girl gave Rukia a curt wave and motioned for her to get in.

Hesitantly, Rukia approached the car, pulling open the door before stepping inside. She promptly strapped herself against the seat as Tatsuki started to drive.

"Sorry for missing your calls. I was kind of -" Rukia tried to think of something to say, "-_getting to know _the students." The last thing she wanted was for Tatsuki to see her as some rebellious delinquent al_ready_.

That was Ichigo.

Tatsuki shook her head. "It's fine, I wasn't in a rush. Though I was pretty pissed off that some idiot had pulled the fire alarm. Whoever it was, he or she will get in some big trouble."

Rukia swallowed. "Yeah…what an idiot," she managed to choke out.

"Whatever, Yamamoto Kouchou-Sensei'll just chew 'em out." She took a left turn. "So what are going to the diner for?"

Rukia leaned her head against the glass window. "I have a job interview- which I'm probably going to be late for anyway, but maybe they'll still give me a chance."

Tatsuki smiled at her. "Don't worry, everyone is really nice there. Orihime- my friend- told me that they had an…interesting way of hiring people."

Rukia's ears perked up at this. "Did she tell you anything about it? Some sort of system maybe? What should I do to make them like me?" she piped up hopefully.

"All she said was that she wasn't really sure how they evaluated her- sorry."

Rukia slumped in her seat. She absent-mindedly blew at her bangs and let them flop back down on her face. "It's okay. I'll just go job hunting again next weekend."

"Hey, you'll do fine. Just slap a big smile on your face and they'll treat you like a princess," Tatsuki said reassuringly.

Rukia scrunched up her nose in skepticism. A princess she was not. She then stretched her lips out with her fingers and faced the driver. "Ish thish princhesse enough for shoo?"

Tatsuki automatically grimaced, but her eyes were laughing. "Totally. If all else fails, do _that_." Finally, she swerved into a crowded parking lot and pulled up in front of the entrance. "Well, here we are. Good luck, new girl," she said coolly.

Rukia blinked. She didn't realize just how close this place was from the school. The drive lasted no longer than five minutes, so the diner must've been within walking distance. She glanced over at Tatsuki, feeling a little guilty about the ride now. Her lips pulled up into a genuine smile. "Thanks a lot Tatsuki, I really owe you one."

"Don't mention it. What are you waiting for? _Go_!" She began to usher the petite girl out of her car.

Rukia gave Tatsuki one last wave before she hastily made her way towards the building. She wasn't late yet- _she could still do this_. She was a _Kuchiki _for God's sake! One little interview wasn't enough to knock her dow-

"_Oof_!" she grunted loudly. The center of her forehead had collided into a solid, glass door.

Rukia blindly groped for something to steady herself as she tried to shake the throbbing pain in her head. _So much for first impressions_, she thought with a wince. "God damn it…" She squeezed the space between her eyebrows in frustration. The slim chance that she had of getting hired was officially shot.

Rukia didn't have time to wallow in mortification for any longer when a woman suddenly burst out of the diner in timely yet graceful glides. She was holding a capped bottle of water. "Miss, are you alright?" she exclaimed loudly. "We don't have any ice packs, but you can use this." She extended the plastic container out for her.

With a painstaking amount of effort, Rukia finally mustered enough will power to look up at the worker who was offering the makeshift ice pack. She almost choked on her own saliva when she finally caught sight of the girl's face.

Standing before her was probably the most gorgeous human being that she'd ever seen in her life. This girl had flame-like hair that licked just below her chest, making her appear to be some sort of sun goddess. Her arms and legs were slender and delicate. It definitely wasn't the boyish kind of skinny that Rukia always felt about her _own _body. This woman had a rack that was about the size of her head. Or two of her heads- technically. With soft, ashen eyes and full pink lips, it was hard _not _to feel a little self-conscious beside this beautiful stranger.

And if anyone needed a personal wind-machine, it was her.

Rukia subconsciously tugged at the ends of her own dark strands. They didn't tumble, cascade or _anything _of the sort. Like the rest of the female population, her locks just sort of…sat on her head and taunted her every morning ("Oh hello Rukia, we'll just resemble a soggy mop today so that no boys will ever look twice at you! You're welcome!").

"Thanks, but I think I'm okay," she managed to say, though the bruise under her skin screamed otherwise.

A thin hand airily brushed a strand of orange away. "Are you sure? It sounded like you hit the door pretty hard…"

Rukia tried not to let her humiliation seep through. She plastered a half-hearted smile on her face in attempt to pull the attention away from her flustered cheeks. "Positive. I've been through worse."

The girl nodded uneasily, but she let the matter drop and proceeded to curve her lips upwards in a cheery manner. "Okay! Would you like to be seated for one or-"

Rukia quickly cut her off. "I'm actually here for an interview…?" Her tone sounded more like a question than a statement though. She bit her lip as the probability of her employment slowly dwindled.

"Oh! Then I'll just get Yoruichi for you." She started to lead Rukia inside the restaurant. "I'm Orihime Inoue by the way! What's your name?" Orihime chirped.

Rukia paused. _This _girl was Tatsuki's best friend? She tried to wrap her head around the idea of tough, silver-tongued Tatsuki spending time with this cute bunnies-'n-butterflies girl in front of her. It seemed more than unlikely, but she didn't know either of them well enough to judge. "I'm Rukia Kuchiki." Straightening her posture, she followed Orihime to the counter.

The place was just as busy as the first time she came here. People- mostly students- were polishing the last pieces of greasy bacon off of their plates, all the while they were gossiping at bullet speed. The dynamic buzz of the boys and girls made her feel at home. Rukia liked how the décor mimicked that of an authentic 1950's diner. Dizzying checkers and all. There was something cozy about the neon signs and dated candy dispensers.

She eyed one of the waitresses, cringing as the worker almost slipped on her roller-skates. If by chance she got hired here, then she would also have to learn how to stand on a pair of those things. Rukia wasn't even sure if it was something her body was capable of _doing_.

"Sui-Feng, could you get Yoruichi for me? Rukia here is scheduled for a job interview right now," Orihime said to the girl wiping a glass. 'Sui-Feng' didn't seem too happy about be interrupted, but without a word, she turned around and disappeared behind the kitchen doors. Orihime quickly turned to face Rukia with an apologetic look in her eyes. "Sui-Feng is really nice- she just likes to get her work done," she added while nodding vigorously.

Seconds later, Sui-Feng emerged from behind the swinging doors with an athletic figured woman by her side. This lady had smooth, tanned skin and long, toned legs. She kept her plum coloured hair in a pony-tail that swished back and forth as she walked. Her narrow, cat-like eyes settled on Rukia. "So you're Byakuya Kuchiki's new little sister. Cute." She smiled and placed her hand on her hip.

Rukia blinked. How did this woman know that about that…?

As if reading her mind, the lady laughed out loud and held her hand out. "Byakuya and I go way back. You could say that we were…friends. I heard about a little girl moving in with him recently. Anyway, I'm Yoruichi Shihoin- manager of Rocky's Delight."

Rukia nodded and firmly shook Yoruichi's hand. "My name is-"

"Rukia, I know," she cut in warmly. "So I see that you're here for an interview, but I'll tell you right now that I'm not the type who cares much about what your biggest fears or your notable achievements are. I like to cut to the chase and see what you can _do _for this place. Are you following?"

Nerves stirred in Rukia's stomach, but she nodded again anyway. "Yes."

"Good. So what we're going to do is dress you up in one of our uniforms and put you through a little 'test drive.' Orihime will take you to the back and I'll tell you the details when you come back."

Rukia tried not to let her jaw drop to the floor. She didn't even have time to practice roller-skating in the safety of her own home? Orihime began to pull her towards the back room while she was still in a stupor. It was only because Rukia had tripped over piece of cardboard when she realized that they had entered a crowded room with labeled boxes scattered on the floor.

Orihime slid towards one of the lockers and dialed in a combination. Once the metal door popped open, she reached into the recesses of the locker and pulled out a pink, itty-bitty dress- similar to the one she had on.

Rukia slowly started to shake her head. "I- I can't wear that!" she exclaimed. The skirt would just barely skim her _thighs_.

Orihime frowned as started to inspect the fabric of the dress. "Why not? You're a little small but…I think this one will fit."

"Isn't there another one that covers a bit…more?" she grimaced.

The pretty ginger quickly shoved the frilly dress into Rukia's hands. "Just try it on first!" she urged.

Reluctantly, Rukia dug her fingers into the mass of pink and trudged behind a wall of lockers. She quietly stripped out of her own dress and pulled the uniform over her head. As promised, the skirt flared out immodestly, and no amount of gravity could ever get it to stay down. She marched back to where Orihime had been waiting, only to have an apron and a pair of skates held out in front of her eyes.

"Oh Rukia, you look so adorable!" she squealed out loud. "But you'll need to put these on too."

With an inward groan, Rukia grabbed the white apron and impatiently tied it around her waist. As she began to walk out the door, Orihime quickly stopped her.

"The skates…" she reminded in a drawn out tone.

"Oh..right…"

Rukia inhaled and turned around to take the death-on-wheels from Orihime's hands. She sat down on a bench and struggled to slip them on.

"Here, let me help you," Orihime offered as she bent down on one knee. She took the laces and loosened them so that Rukia could stick her feet in. Her hands looped knots together in delicate movements.

Rukia pressed her lips in a thin line. This girl would probably look good taking out the trash. "I've…never tried roller-skating before," she finally admitted.

Orihime looked up at her. "Really? But it's so fun!" She got up off the floor and did a twirl to demonstrate just how 'fun' it was. "Come on!" She grabbed Rukia by the hand and pulled her up off the seat.

"Hey! W-wait, I can't do this!" Rukia cried out in an agitated manner. She held onto Orihime's hand for dear life as the wheels underneath her soles began to roll on their own accord.

"See? You're skating!" Orihime squealed excitedly.

When Orihime began to ease her hand out from Rukia's grip, the wobbling girl immediately grasped onto the edge of a storage rack to balance herself.

"Look, you can do it! Let's go!"

Rukia couldn't help but wonder if Orihime was a cheerleader. This chick certainly had the gung-ho spirit to be one. She slowly held onto the wall as she dragged herself across the floor. When they finally arrived at the counter again, Yoruichi was cooing at a customer's baby in a stroller. "Aww, aren't you a little angel! You cutie-patootie!" Her face scrunched up in adoration. She finally stood up straight and thanked the family before they exited the restaurant. Her body turned to face Rukia and Orihime with a smug look in her eyes. "And _that's _how you charm a family. So Rukia, are you ready?"

Rukia wasn't sure what she was supposed to be 'ready' for, but she didn't think anything could be worse than frolicking around looking like _this_. "Of course!" Rukia quickly voiced perkily.

"Great! Then let's get started." Yoruichi began to stack together a couple of plates. "First of all, we need to test your ability to balance these plates on your arms while you skate. You'll be doing this a _lot_, so you might as well get used to it."

Rukia felt her heart sink when she heard the instructions.

This was going to be impossible- she figured that if she gave up now, then she would at least leave this place with all her organs in their correct sockets. But a couple of other diner girls had already gathered around to watch, and Rukia prided herself in not being a quitter.

Nervously, she inched forward and carefully took the plates from Yoruichi's hands. She tried to find the best way to arrange them so that they wouldn't fall with any sudden movements. She let out a breath of relief when she finally got all the plates on her arms.

It was a _miracle_.

But then she realized that she still had to move around, and her face fell immediately.

She stole a glance a Orihime, who was now blinking sparkles at her with a determined look.

Rukia focused on keeping one foot in front of the other. But it wasn't long before she reached a dip in the tiles that caused her to send all the plates crashing to the floor. Shards shot out in every direction as the porcelain shattered to smithereens. She stared at the mess she made and covered her mouth in shock. "Oh God, I'm so sorry! I'll clean it up and I'll vacuum the floor and- if you could just tell me where the broom is-"

"_Rukia_," Yoruichi interrupted. "It's okay, we'll clean it up. You still have a couple more tests to complete now don't you?" She winked at her.

Rukia couldn't understand what was going on. Why wasn't Yoruichi mad?

"Come on, don't look like that. They're just a couple of plates. I'll tell you what your next task is…" Yoruichi motioned for Rukia to come closer.

For the next twenty minutes, Rukia was madly gliding around the tiled floors cleaning spills, wiping counters, and setting up tables. She followed all of Yoruichi's instructions with clenched teeth. Rukia was beginning to have suspicions that they were only using her for free labor and planning to kick her to the curb once the work was done. Quite obviously, waitressing wasn't her calling.

As she grabbed another clean rag from the counter, Yoruichi finally approached her. "Good job Rukia! You're doing well," she exclaimed.

Rukia wasn't sure whether the tone Yoruichi took on was sarcastic or not.

"There's only one more thing that I need you to do before I can make a decision though…"

Rukia tossed the rag to a near-by sink and wiped her hands on her apron. "What is it?" she asked eagerly.

"Alright Kuchiki, your final test is to wait on one of our customers. If you can make the person leave a generous tip, then you're hired, no questions asked," Yoruichi said with a glint in her eye. She gestured towards a table with her head. "See that boy over there? He's all yours. Now show us what you've got."

Rukia swallowed her protests. Were they really going to send her out into the wild with only a hooker dress and a notebook in her arsenal? Orihime skated over to her. "What am I supposed to say? !" Rukia inquired frantically.

"Just ask the guy if you can get him anything and write the order down!" Orihime answered in hushed tones. "Remember to smile!"

Another employee whispered into her ear. "All you have to do is lean over a little more and you'll do fine." The girl winked.

Rukia then felt someone give her a light push. She hesitantly glided over to her designated seat.

The boy had his chin in one palm while his other hand was busily drumming against the surface of the table. He was facing the other way, staring out at the window. She cleared her throat to get his attention, but he still didn't turn to face her. "Hi! Is there anything I can get for you?" She put on her brightest smile.

"A cuter waitress might be nice," he responded almost automatically. His tone was dismissive.

Rukia struggled to keep her perfect smile intact, but her jaw was already tightening. The pompous _jerk_! She refrained from hitting him over the head with her notebook. Instead, her hands clenched the cardboard tighter. She spoke in sugar-coated tones. "I'm sorry, but that isn't on the menu today. Maybe you'd like to try one of our lunch combos-"

When the boy finally looked up at her, her body instantly tensed. She dropped the pen she had held, and it made a faint clattering noise as it hit the ground. Rukia tried to calm the rattle of her heart by taking deep, extended breaths.

The long red hair, those razor-sharp eyes, and that stupid smirk…this was _definitely _Renji Abarai.

He was taller, and wider- but his arrogant attitude was a dead give-away. She didn't know whether to throw her arms around him or sock him in the nose. "Renji!" she exclaimed excitedly.

Rukia didn't anticipate a tearful reunion, but he didn't seem stirred at all.

Instead, a puzzled look crossed his face. "Do I know you?" he suddenly scowled.

Rukia frowned. A sinking feeling was beginning to settle in her stomach now. "It's me, Rukia…" she said softly. "Don't you remember?"

He raised his eyebrows and blinked. "No, I really don't," he dead-panned.

She pressed her palms onto the table. "We used to play in that giant Oak tree all the time, and we'd-"

"Did we meet at a club or something? Because I always make it clear that I never want any strings attached so…"

Rukia averted her gaze. He didn't recognize her. His expression remained blank as ever- but she couldn't figure out why. Aside from her hair being a few inches shorter, she didn't think she looked _that _different. It had been five years- give or take- but she was still _Rukia_. There was no way that he could've just forgotten her like this.

She realized that she was still being watched over by Yoruichi. But it didn't matter anyway; she had already blown her chances at getting a job from the moment she walked in here. "Renji…" she whispered more urgently.

"Maybe you're mistaking me for someone else." He lifted his hand and scratched the back of his neck. "And I'll just have some iced lime water, thanks."

Rukia did all she could to stop herself from reaching over and shaking his shoulders. "Coming right up," she said tersely. As she skated back to the counter, she felt as though her insides had been hollowed out. Although Rukia would never admit it, she used to always imagine scenarios where she and Renji would meet up again someday and fall right back into routine.

They'd catch up on each other's lives while sitting in their tree, and it would be just like old times. She certainly didn't think their encounter would turn out like _this_.

"Rukia, you look so pale! What's wrong?" Orihime asked with genuine concern in her voice.

Rukia snapped out of her daze and forced a laugh from her throat. "Huh? Really? Nothing's wrong! So...where do I put this?" She raised the hand that was clutching the spiral-ringed book.

Orihime crossed her arms over her chest. "Did that man harass you? Because Yoruichi can deal with him if he did," she said. She took the book from Rukia's hands and glanced at it. "One iced lime water please!" she shouted to the people behind the counter.

Rukia shook her head and waved her arms for emphasis. "No, nothing happened I swear. I guess I'm just a little exhausted, that's all!" Her face lit up, but even she could hear the fakeness in her own words.

Orihime craned her neck to peer at the tables. "Is that Renji?" Her eyes widened. "He goes to my school!"

She _knew _that she wasn't just imagining things! "Are you friends with him?" Rukia asked. She tried to seem nonchalant about it.

"Not…exactly." Orihime sounded on edge. "He's my boyfr- I mean, my ex-boyfriend's friend."

A glass of green tinted liquid was then placed onto the counter top. Orihime handed it to her. "If he tries to do anything fishy, tuck your hair behind your ear as a signal to let me know. I'll call Yoruichi over when you do!"

Rukia didn't bother telling her that it probably wasn't necessary, but it was sweet that she cared. Rukia held the cup with a firm grip and made her way back towards Renji's seat. Anger was beginning to shroud her thoughts now. His selective memory was infuriating, and she was prepared to give him a piece of her mind. Once she approached his table, she slammed the cup down in front of him. He flinched in surprise. "Your drink," she mouthed sharply.

"Hey, what's your _problem_?" Renji demanded. He wiped off some of the water that splashed onto his pants.

"My _problem _is that you're an insensitive idiot!" Rukia raised her hand and yanked at the chain around her neck until it came loose. She dangled the rusted charm in front of his face. "_You _gave me this," she huffed.

His face faltered for a second, but a scowl immediately followed after. "Look _girl_, I don't know who you are or what you're trying to prove- but frankly, it's kind of freaking me out- so I'd appreciate it if you would just let me drink my lime water in _peace_," he snapped.

"Five years later and you're still such a jerk someti- AAH!" Rukia screamed as she lost her balance from leaning over. Her skirt flipped up while crashing onto the waxy floors. Once her bum landed with a _thunk_, her first thought was not, _My tailbone is probably broken and I'll never be able to walk again_, but rather, _For all that is holy, please let me be wearing a cute pair of panties- and not those heinous granny ones. _Anything_ but those._

But then the pain registered. Cue woeful internal monologue.

"Rukia! Are you alright?" Yoruichi rushed over to her at what seemed to be _literally _the speed of lightning. She crouched down.

Rukia slowly attempted to get up, but the ache in her lower back was unyielding. She was too distracted to hear Yoruichi. Her eyes searched for Renji.

"Rukia..?" the manager tried again.

"Huh?"

But he was already gone.

-※-

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY DOOR?" Ichigo roared as he sprung out of bed. He leapt across the corridor and thundered down the stairs. His eyes glowed with animosity as they locked onto his target.

_Goat-chin_.

Isshin Kurosaki calmly flipped the page of his newspaper. "Good morning son. Breakfast is on the table." He nodded towards Yuzu's bacon and eggs ensemble.

"My _door_. Where the hell did you put it? !" Ichigo demanded angrily.

His father finally put the newspaper down and looked up at him. "Oh that old thing? You won't be needing it anymore." He started to spread an unhealthy amount of butter on his toast.

The enraged ginger stomped towards his dad, each step heavier than the last. "I _need _my door, old man," he seethed.

Isshin sighed and put his knife down. "So Karin says that you have a girlfriend."

Ichigo grit his teeth impatiently. "Don't change the subject!"

"So it's true then? You have a lady-friend?" Isshin inquired, unblinking.

"I-"

Ichigo barely got a word in before his father suddenly burst out in hysterics. "My son- my own _flesh and blood_- doesn't even trust his daddy enough to tell him about his _first love_? ! It's outrageous! This- This is betrayal!" His arms waved around like they were flimsy noodles.

The irritated teen glared daggers at his younger black-haired sister who was coolly munching on cereal. "Karin!" he hissed in an accusatory tone.

She returned the glower. "What? You're the one who told him about Toshiro first!" she countered just as venomously.

Ichigo scowled at her. That was it, he was going to _kill _that Hitsugaya kid, and maybe even Karin along with him.

Isshin was now slumping in his seat with his forehead pressed against his arm. He appeared to be sobbing, but alas, his theatrics failed to faze any of his children. "I'm a cool dad, aren't I? I would never interrupt you during your _happy time_!"

Ichigo finally kicked his father in the face to shut him up. "You're insane!" he grumbled.

His dad jumped up from his seat while holding his nose. He then pointed a finger at his son. "You, my boy, will bring that girl home _tonight _for dinner! And if I don't see her by seven o'clock, then you can kiss your beloved door good-bye!"

Yuzu squealed in delight. "Onii-chan is bringing his girlfriend home for dinner?" Then she gasped. "That means I need to go grocery shopping after school today!"

Ichigo glanced at the clock and groaned. Dealing with his dysfunctional family would have to come later.

He slipped a piece of toast in his mouth before rushing out the door.

-※-

The orange-cropped boy tapped a wooden pencil impatiently against his knee. Only eighty-one hours, forty-three minutes and thirty-eight seconds to go until he was liberated from this hell hole- well, for a good two months anyway. But for now, he was happy with just counting down the last twenty-seven seconds 'til Tuesday classes were over.

Nineteen…

He shoved his binders into his bag.

Eleven…

His legs began to twitch.

Two…

The bell finally sang lovely melodies of freedom and happiness as every student shot up from their seats, all eager to leave the school. Ichigo was just about to exit the classroom when he heard his name being called. He whirled around to face the ever-cheerful face of his Biology teacher.

"Kurosaki-san, I believe that Yamamoto Kouchou-Sensei wishes to have a word with you right now. Maybe you could go down to his office to see what he wants?" Unohana Sensei informed him gently.

_Damn_. His afternoon was already ruined before it even started.

"Okay, thanks Unohana Sensei. I'll see you tomorrow." He gave her a brief wave and clutched his textbooks even tighter. What did the old man want _this _time?

He figured that the grouchy geezer could wait a couple minutes longer. Besides, Ichigo had more pressing matters at hand. He needed to get his door back before anyone started snooping around in his room. Not that there was anything in particular that he needed to hide- but still. Isshin and Yuzu were the nosy type.

(And he didn't want to risk his sister having a heart attack by finding one of Keigo's porn magazines. He made a mental note to burn the stash if Keigo didn't retrieve them by next week).

Ichigo made a bee-line for Tatsuki's locker. A breath of relief escaped from his lips when he noted Orihime's absence. He wasn't ready to face her, not yet.

"Tatsuki!" he called out as he started to lightly jog towards her.

She turned around at the sound of her name. "Oh hey Ichigo," she greeted him casually. "What's up?"

He didn't waste time beating around the bush. "Remember that time when I helped you study for that Shakespeare test?"

Tatsuki lifted an eyebrow. "Yes…" She nodded slowly.

"And that other time when I attended the funeral for your snake- even though I'm scared shitless of snakes- when he died?"

Her eyes narrowed at him. "That was nine years ago, and Ronnie isn't _dead_, he's in heaven," she snapped as-a-matter-of-factly. "And where exactly are you going with this?"

Ichigo fumbled with his words. "I have a favour to ask," he finally got out.

"What is it?" She slammed her locker door shut and turned to face him.

He opened his mouth to speak, but then he paused to think about his following choice of words. He wouldn't be violating his 'oath' to Renji would he? His fucking _door _was at stake, there _had_ to be a loop-hole. "I need you to pretend to be my girlfriend for tonight," he said bluntly.

There. A _fake _girlfriend didn't count as a real one. He was totally off the hook.

Tatsuki blinked once. "No."

He gawked at her in disbelief, a little put off by her quick dismissal. "What? But you _owe _me!" he exclaimed with his arms out.

"I don't owe you anything! Have you forgotten all about those times when I helped _you _out?" She slung her bag over her shoulder.

He furrowed his eyebrows.

Tatsuki sighed loudly. "Look, you're my friend, and Orihime's my friend too and I'm not going to do this to her. I'm sure you'll find a girl who'll gladly be your…'fake' girlfriend," she scoffed.

"But you're my _actual _friend! C'mon Tatsuki! Anyone else and it'll look like a real relationship to people who aren't as stupid as my dad!" he cried out. "I can't _be _in a real relationship right now damn it!"

Her eyes widened. "And just what are you implying, asshole?" She didn't wait for an answer before she shouldered past him. _Hard_.

Ichigo rubbed the place where she had shoved, wincing at the sting. He always forgot about how freakin' strong that girl was.

He glanced at his watch to check the time. With a frustrated sigh, Ichigo began to make his way to the main office. Yamamoto Kouchou-Sensei was probably steaming now. He liked to think that he knew the principal pretty well. The office _had_ been his second home all of tenth grade after all.

Upon arrival, the secretary instructed him to take a seat. He was already familiar with the protocol. Sit down, go in, listen to Yamamoto's redundant blabbering about school conduct- and he was free to leave. But this time, there was another human being in the room other than the secretary and himself. It was that tenacious girl from before.

The bratty one. Rukia, was it?

Shortcake was vigorously signing a bunch of papers on her lap two chairs away from him. She was too focused on her work to notice his shameless staring.

Which was just fine and dandy for Ichigo- but for some reason, he wasn't able to tear his gaze off of her. It wasn't as if she was conventionally attractive or anything like that. Her eyes were too big, and her skin was too pale. Plus she always had that annoying piece of hair that perpetually hung between her eyes. He had been extremely tempted to move it away from her face the other day, but he was pretty sure that that would've freaked her out.

So he didn't.

...Still, his eyes lingered.

"Kurosaki, the principal is ready to see you now." The secretary nodded at him.

Ichigo folded his arms together and stood up. He trudged towards the Kouchou-Sensei's office, fully prepared to take on whatever crap Yamamoto was planning to fire at him.

As expected, the old man was sitting in his chair with a flat expression on his face. He opened his eyes.

"Ichigo Kurosaki."

Ichigo took the liberty to sit down in the student chair. He began to fiddle with the picture frames. "So what'd you call me in for, Yama-Ji?" He held the object closer to his face. "Hey is this your-"

Yamamoto stabbed his cane to the floor in annoyance."You will address me as Yamamoto Kouchou-Sensei, and I think you know very well why you're in her- _would you put that down_? !" he scolded.

Ichigo juggled the glass rectangle to keep it from slipping out of his hands. He quickly put it back on the cherry wood desk.

Yamamoto flinched at Ichigo's rough handling. He cleared his throat. "_Thank you_. As I was saying, I'm sure that you have a perfectly good idea of why your presence is burdening my office yet _again_. This must be your hundredth time _in _here."

Ichigo raised both eyebrows. "Really? I thought it was closer to the thousands, but I guess I never kept track." He reclined in the chair and rested both hands behind his head. His elbows stuck out.

A vein bulged from the Kouchou-Sensei's head. "Kurosaki, save your ceaseless insolence for the school yard. A teacher recently informed me that _you _were the one who sent Satoshi Kiba to the hospital with a fractured spine. Is this true?"

Ichigo shifted uneasily. Geez, he didn't realize the kid was _that _weak. He sat up a little straighter. "It was an act of defense sir. Not for me, but for a girl who he was cornering-"

Yamamoto interrupted him. "You do not understand the _severity _of your actions! I'm aware of your influence on the students, but you are not setting a good example. Your impulsivity puts this entire school in great danger."

Ichigo fought to keep his eyes from rolling. He automatically fell into what he liked to call his 'selective hearing' mode.

The only words that he drew from that lengthy speech were: _You…are…great._

_Why thank you Yama-Ji_, he thought in his head.

The geezer continued to babble on. "Kiba will not go unpunished for his asininity, but _you _are not the one strapped to a hospital bed, and neither is that girl you speak of." He sighed and pressed his thumb and index finger against his forehead. "This is not the first time that you've demonstrated unnecessary acts of violence on my school grounds. Let this be your final warning Kurosaki, you are not to harm another student again, otherwise, you will face the consequence of _expulsion_. Is that clear?"

Ichigo crossed his arms over his chest. "Crystal."

"Very well then. You are suspended from the school for two days. Your father will be receiving a call from me soon."

Ichigo immediately got up from his seat and started to trudge out without looking back.

"And Kurosaki?"

He paused.

"Don't you dare pull the fire alarm again. _I'm onto you_."

Ichigo tilted his neck back and flashed a cheeky grin. "Wouldn't dream of it sir!"

This suspension would be like an early vacation for him. There were only three more days of school left anyway.

In fact, he was _happy_ about this unexpected, pre-summer mini break.

He'd make the best of it.

-※-

Rukia thanked the woman behind the desk as she handed in her final enrollment papers.

The secretary peered up at her behind black frames. "Have a good summer dear!"

"You too!" Rukia said in an equally buoyant tone.

She tucked her pen back into her bag and headed for the exit. Her meeting with the Kouchou-Sensei went well, but she hadn't expected him to be so…ancient. The man was_old_, and she was surprised that he could still walk with only a cane. He looked as if he had once hunted with the _dinosaurs_.

She breezily walked through the doors. The warm air blanketed her skin, causing her upper lip to perspire.

To be honest, Rukia preferred the chill of winter over sticky summer days. She found comfort in glimmering snow banks and frosted icicles. Plus she could always curl up by the fireplace with a mug of apple cider resting in her lap whenever she got cold. But when temperatures soared in the months of July and August, there was nothing she could do to escape the relentless heat.

Summer meant mosquito bites and matted pony-tails. She didn't know how she would make time pass for the next several weeks. Her only _real _friend here had some sort of mental lapse and couldn't remember her.

She felt _sad_.

Rukia shook her head and tried to smile. She needed to focus on being grateful. Any child at the orphanage would give their left _arm_ to be in her position right now, so she tried to think of happy thoughts.

_Bunnies, rabbits, Chappy, cake, chocolate, orange…_

Wait- _orange_?

Bright spikes of orange had pierced into her thoughts.

Once Rukia looked up, she spotted that infuriating ginger-head from before. She realized that _Ichigo _was only standing a few feet away from her, waiting at the same bus stop. Just _seeing _his dumb hair made her nerves tingle in vexation. She began to march towards him.

"Look Strawberry Boy,what do you want?" she snapped testily.

He spun around with a bewildered look in his eyes. Once he realized who he was facing, his expression quickly melted into a smug expression. "I'm not sure if you realize this…but _you're _the one approaching _me_."

Rukia scowled at him. "You know what I mean! Why did you help me out yesterday?"

He didn't hesitate to answer. "Uh- 'cause I have a heart of gold and it's my sole purpose in life to offer assistance to those in need. Duh."

"I highly doubt that." She crossed her arms and looked away.

He smirked. "If this is your way of thanking me, then you're doing a really crappy job."

She instantly shot him a bristling glare. "I'm not thanking you," she retorted hotly. Her words then softened into a mumble. "But I hate owing people, so just spit it out okay? I ask again, _what do you want_?"

Ichigo didn't get to reply when a large bus suddenly pulled up to their stop and opened its doors for them. They both hopped on and ventured to the back of the vehicle. It was much too crowded to sit, so the pair was forced to stand next to each other in uncomfortable proximities. They grabbed onto the poles for support.

She gave him an expectant look. "Well?"

Ichigo finally scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Look, I don't know what they do in whatever planet _you _come from, but here on Earth, sometimes we have the decency to help without expec-"

Rukia peered at him when he abruptly stopped talking. She didn't like the way his face was slowly lighting up. "What?" she snorted. She could practically _hear _the clicking in his head.

"Actually, there _is _something you can do for me…"

She waited for him to continue. "And?"

"Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Rukia swallowed. In terms of going out, no. And probably not for the day after that. Or the day after _that _either. Her shoulders tensed. "I might have some work to do," she said curtly. She figured that that didn't sound as lame as, _I might be setting up furniture tonight_.

He started to speak as if he couldn't get the words out fast enough. "Long story short, I need you to pose as my girlfriend for dinner tonight so I can get my bedroom door back." He took a deep breath once he was finished.

Rukia had to clamp her teeth on her bottom lip to keep from giggling out loud. She definitely wasn't expecting _this_ to be his request. He didn't seem like the type who would have trouble lassoing a girl in. "What does this have to do with your door?" she asked.

He fidgeted with his hands impatiently. "It just _does _okay? So are you in or not?"

She put her finger on her chin to emulate the look of being deep in thought. "Hmm...would I rather go home to my warm cozy bed, or prance around in some annoying stranger's house? Gee, that's a tough one."

"I'll _pay _you," he said pleadingly. _Now _he looked desperate, and she'd be lying if she said that she wasn't enjoying this a little.

Rukia narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not going to be another passenger on your Slut-Bus to Whoreville."

He creased his eyebrows. "_You're_ the one who said you wanted to do something for me in return."

"That was before I found out how unpleasant your request was. For all I know, you could be a serial killer. Or a rapist. Or both."

Ichigo sucked in a deep breath. "What, you scared that you won't live up to the standards set by my previous girlfriends?" he taunted conceitedly. "I don't blame you. You've probably frightened hundreds of people with those demon-eyes of yours anyway."

Rukia snapped her neck up to look at him. How could this one single person make her so damn _angry_? It was as if he knew _exactly _how to get under her skin- and this irritated her endlessly. She could feel her hands curling into fists. His arrogance knew no bounds! She released one hand and jabbed a finger to his chest.

"You know what? _Fine_, I'll play your stupid game of pretend- and by the end of the night, your family will _love me_. In fact, they'll wish that _I _was their child instead of _you_, you jackass!"

Ichigo grinned. "Great! Pick you up at six! Where do you live?"

She roughly slid past him as the bus came to a stop. "The Kuchiki manor house!" she hollered as she got off. Once the noisy vehicle had chortled away, she inhaled slowly.

She needed to calm herself down.

Rukia quickly walked to the entrance of Byakuya's mansion. These past two days had been emotionally draining, and all she wanted to do was hole up in her room and relax. Maybe she could practice those supposed tension-zapping yoga stretches- _if _she could even get her body in those positions.

She inserted her brand new key into the slot and turned it until she heard a clicking noise. She quietly sauntered into the foyer while taking out her cell phone. Two unread text notifications beeped.

The first one was sent a couple of hours ago from Tatsuki, asking her about the interview from yesterday. Rukia decided that 'tragic' didn't even _begin _to describe how she felt about that so-called interview. She would have to tell her all about it later.

The next message was short and to the point. She tried to suppress the smile growing on her lips, surprised that the boy had bothered to send a text back.

_Wud u call this a practice date?_

She realized that she still didn't know the guy's name- and that was probably necessary if this organized friendship was going to work. Just as she was preparing her thumbs to reply, a loud knocking was suddenly heard from behind. Rukia shoved her phone back into her pocket.

Someone was at the door.

Cautiously, she opened it and leaned to the side to see who it was. "Byakuya will be with you in a sec- _Renji_? ! How do you know where I-"

He barged right in and then whirled around to face her.

"Let me see your underwear," he growled.

* * *

Renji's a pervert! :O

Just kidding!

...Maybe!

Anyway, you guys are awesome for reading. I sincerely appreciate every view! Also, feel free to tell me how I can improve my writing :)

This is irrelevant, but I was wondering if you guys could recommend an anime for me to start watching. Honestly, I don't watch anime all that much, but I've enjoyed what I _have _completed :D ...Which was only like, 3 series LOL But I like romance and comedy and action (like every other girl on the planet haha). Thanks in advance!


	5. Five

**Notes:** YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! Thanks so much for the feedback! Here's an extra-long, monster of a chapter for you guys! I`m really sorry that I took so long to update. Summer has been really busy :(

**PLEASE READ: **In the second chapter, it said that Ichigo and Renji built their tree house when they were 8 years old. I changed the age to 13 so that it would make sense with the following content.

* * *

**_Five_**

Rukia instinctively pulled the hem of her skirt down a little lower. The irrational part of her brain wondered if he had somehow acquired x-ray eye vision in the years that they've spent apart.

"_Excuse me_?" she exclaimed shakily.

Renji started to pace around in an impatient manner. His shoes made loud clacking noises on the polished floors as he circled her. "Your freaking _lady-things_ drawer! Where is it? !" he hissed urgently.

Rukia shot him a chilly glare. "Could you stop that?" She started to back away with hesitant steps. "What are you? Some kind of hawk?!"

The tall red-headed boy stiffened at this comment and stopped in his tracks. He finally straightened his back and began to speak in a more level voice. "I need to see your underwear- specifically, the ones you wore yesterday." Renji pointed at the general area of her skirt. "It's important," he added quickly.

She narrowed her eyes into menacing slits.

Maybe he had become a depressed drug addict while she was away. Perhaps her time of absence had made him so discombobulated that he had resorted to heroine and was on it right _now_. And if that theory was true, then it might've been somewhat sweet on a good day- but her encounter with Strawberry Boy had already dampened her mood.

Besides, Renji was terrified of needles- she knew this already. So _that _couldn't be the case.

"Oh sure, I hand out my panties to people all the time because it's a favour that arises every day," she scoffed sarcastically. Rukia crossed her arms, hoping that she would be able to disguise the waver in her voice. "If you're looking for someone to accommodate your perverted-" she paused to think of the word, "-_needs_, then you're in the wrong place."

He frantically waved his arms back and forth. "No that's not what I meant! I just need to-"

"Need to what?" she interrupted bitterly. The frustration she felt from before was resurfacing fast. "First you forget who I am, and now _this_? What's gotten into you? How did you even find out where I _live_?"

Renji let out an irritated sigh. He shoved his hand into a pocket and pulled out something that reflected in the light. Rukia felt her cheeks fluster as his gaze slowly settled on her. She widened her eyes when she noted the object in his grip.

"You took my necklace?" She cupped the golden trinket back into her hands and looked up at him. "Why? W_hen_?"

He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck as his eyes darted back and forth at everything _but _her. "You dropped it when you fell down. I thought it might help me trigger a memory, but it didn't."

She held the metal tighter in her hands. "Renji, what are you talk-"

"There's a picture of us in that locket," he quickly interrupted. "But we look angry." His face was impassive.

Rukia frowned as she recalled the events of that day. It was a weekend, and two of them had scraped just enough money to get some extra treats, but they were having a hard time deciding on what to purchase. Renji wanted to buy candy, where as _she_ wanted to use that brand new photo booth that had been built recently.

Of course he gave in to her. Eventually.

"Because we _were _angry! I practically had to drag you into that booth!" She scrunched her face into a scowl, but her voice remained warm.

Renji dropped his hand. "I don't remember," he mumbled softly.

She huffed and shook her head as a grin broke out on her face. She was just glad that he was here. That had to mean _something. _"It's okay," she piped up. "You were always really forgetful anyway!" She waggled a teasing finger at him and lightly touched his arm.

She was taken aback when he immediately jerked away from the contact. He clenched his hands into fists and stared at the floor. Her expression slipped into surprise when his knuckles began to turn white. "Hey-"

"I don't remember because I _can't _remember," he burst out exasperatedly. "You're some chick who just waltzes into my life and tells me that we know each other- that we climbed a fucking _tree_ together- and to top it off, you have a picture of us in your necklace?"

Rukia retracted her hand and pressed it into her abdomen. "Can you _please _slow down? I don't understand why you're acting like this…"

Knots were tangling up in her stomach now. She held her breath.

Rukia didn't have time to react when Renji exhaled loudly and suddenly yanked her towards him.

A jackhammer occupied the space where her heart should've been as she crashed face-first into his chest. "Renji, wha-"

But her mind was benumbed as his long arms curled around her shoulders. She was frozen now, completely incapable of lifting a finger. He enveloped her in his warmth, tugging at all of her senses. The feeling was snug, and a little ticklish even.

But just as she was starting to sink into him, he abruptly pulled away.

She watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed hard. "Damn it," he muttered as he stepped back. "I thought that would work."

Rukia grit her teeth together and blinked back potential tears. "Thought _what _would work? ! Why the hell are you acting so _strange_?" she cried out. She was finally fed up with this. Something was off about Renji, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

His eyes glazed over as he gave her a pensive look. "I believe you," he started uneasily, "-believe that we knew each other, I mean- but the thing is, I really have no idea who you are…"

He paused to glance at her before resuming. She fidgeted anxiously.

"I took a nasty hit to the head in an accident four years ago…so I can't recall a whole lot of events before I turned thirteen." His eyes flickered apologetically as he pointed to his head. "Retrograde amnesia, if you want the fancy term for it," he added.

Rukia shrunk away from him as she processed what she was hearing. Her nails sunk into her elbow, and the words settling on her tongue weren't forming properly. She felt something lodged inside her throat when the realization hit her.

"Oh."

So this _wasn't _the Renji she knew anymore. All their memories in Inuzuri together as rowdy children were out of reach to him because of some unforgiving accident. She didn't want to believe it, but the boy wasn't lying. She could tell by the way he was staring at her like he didn't have a clue who she was.

Rukia was a stranger in his eyes.

"But of all things, your freakin' _underwear _gave me a vague flashback. And your scent…I _know _that smell," he exclaimed with his arms out.

She tried to catch her breath as her hands trembled slightly. "Do you…know my name?" she asked.

He squinted in thought. "Is it…Ru- Ru- Rurika?"

Rukia looked away. She closed her eyes and spoke quietly. "It's Rukia," she whispered.

"Nice to meet you, Rukia." Renji held out his hand for her. "And just so you know, I'm not a stalker. I worked as an intern at the Kuchiki Corps last year, so I've been here before. I asked the people at Rocky's delight, and they told me that _you_ were the girl who was adopted by Byakuya Kuchiki."

Rukia nodded weakly and stared at his hand.

_No._

She refused to shake it because they had met before. Hell, they spent every waking moment together when they were kids. She wasn't going to accept this- she was going to _make _him remember her.

…Somehow.

"So about the underwear…" he began with a stupid grin on his face.

She glowered at him darkly. "Keep dreaming, Abarai. I think I have some other things that might help though."

Rukia hesitantly started to lead him up the stairs. Perhaps she had a collection of miscellaneous items that could jog his memory. She could only hope though; it _had _been two years after all.

They silently made their way down the wooden floor panels until they arrived at her room. She pushed the door open to let them in.

Renji stood awkwardly as Rukia wasted no time to start digging around in the giant pile of cardboard boxes that cluttered the ground. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "We were friends…right?" he voiced out to her nervously.

Rukia paused, then slowly rose from her leaning position. He had been like a_ brother_ to her. The term 'friends' seemed too light and loose, but she couldn't think of an appropriate word to describe what they had shared. "Yes," she confirmed stiffly. "You could say that."

He continued to blather on. "Say...your _panties _gave me a flashback. So we didn't uh- _sleep _together, did we?"

Rukia was quick to respond. "_No_! God no!" she yelled as she whirled around. Her cheeks burned stubbornly. "I don't even want to _know _why or when you saw my underwear."

Renji held his palms up in surrender as the corners of his lips curled upwards. "Hey, just making sure," he said with an amused expression on his face.

She shot him a livid look before reaching out to lift a labeled box off the top of the heap. Her small hands grasped at the sides so tightly that it hurt. She couldn't hide the fact that she uncomfortable, and maybe even a little afraid. She had no idea what to expect, and this whole situation was chewing her apart from the inside out.

Rukia settled on the edge of her bed and placed the box in her lap. She gingerly lifted the lid off to discover a messy compartment of random objects from her childhood. Gemstones, feathers, letters, crafts- they were all in there. Renji leaned over, equally as fascinated by the jumble of things.

"You sure keep a lot of junk," he quipped.

She glared at him. "This _junk _can help you restore your memories. Here." She immediately shoved the box of confectionary in his hands.

Renji didn't wait for permission to occupy the seat next to her. His large hands started to filter through the tangled objects. He appeared to be separating them into groups on her bedspread.

His words were breezy. "So what was I like?"

"Annoying," she replied instinctively with crossed arms. She was still irked by his nonchalant attitude towards all this. "Careless, brash, and somewhat stupid."

He paused for a second and raised an eyebrow. "But you were friends with this 'careless, brash, and somewhat stupid' boy."

Rukia sighed exasperatedly, unable to bottle up her distress any longer. "Don't you remember _anything_? Anything at all?"

He finally whipped his torso around to face her. "Look, this isn't exactly easy for me either," he breathed out sharply. "I've been trying to piece together my life for four years now, and I didn't think I'd meet a girl who knew me _before _I got out of that hospital."

Rukia sucked on the inside of her cheek, slightly shocked by the strangled tone in his voice. "I'm sorry," she mumbled as she gripped her knees.

Renji inhaled deeply and sunk his fist into her mattress. "No…I-I didn't mean to scare you, okay? It's just that I haven't thought about my past in a while," he said through grit teeth. "But then all of a sudden _you _show up and I feel like I'm waking up in that white room all over again. I can't shake how fucking _familiar _you are to me…"

She folded her hands in her lap. "We met in Inuzuri when we were ten years old," Rukia started faintly. "You and I were both orphans taken in by a man named Tessai Tsukabishi. He didn't have official authority to house the homeless, but he did it anyway, and we all loved him."

Renji had completely stopped organizing now, and was staring at her intently as she spoke.

"I helped you steal bread from a merchant because you and your sissy friends were too slow, and I guess that's how we started talking," she continued.

"Wait- I _stole _from people?" Renji exclaimed incredulously.

Rukia nodded slowly. "It's not like we had a choice! Tessai didn't have enough money to provide us with sufficient food, so that's what we had to do."

"Did we wear black and sneak around while it was dark out?" he asked with a smirk.

"We were children, not cat burglars," she deadpanned. "None of this is ringing any bells?" She averted her eyes, realizing how hopeless this was turning out to be.

He crossed his arms uneasily. "No…not really. I know that I was an orphan because the adults who took me to the hospital were the ones who adopted me. But other than that, I can't recall a thing you said."

Rukia sighed and gripped at the ledge of her bed. "Well anyway, when we were twelve, the police became aware of Tessai's unauthorized sheltering and they shut it down. All the kids were sent to different orphanages. I was taken to Osaka…and we were separated."

"That must've been around the time I hit my head…" he mused.

"If you don't mind me asking, what _happened _to you exactly?" Rukia asked curiously.

Renji rubbed his eyes like he was trying to remember. "The doctors said that my foster parents found me in an alley, and it looked like I got into a fight. They examined my wounds and guessed that someone must've slammed my head against a wall pretty damn hard or somethin'."

Rukia didn't bat an eyelash. To survive in Inuzuri, you had to fight- but at the time, Renji frequented in brawls like they were a sport. She wanted to scold him for being so _impulsive _all the time, but there wouldn't be a point to it now. He probably didn't even remember the fight.

She reached over and grabbed one of the yellowing papers that Renji had placed on her bed. "This is a letter you wrote to me before we parted."

He carefully took the wrinkled note out of her hands and unfolded it, slowly scanning each scribble.

_Rukia_

_You know I suck at writing, but this is in case they don't let us say goodbye. You're probably still mad at me too. I'm really sorry about throwing your shirt in the river yesterday. The boys dared me to do it. I promise you can hit me as hard as you like if we ever see each other again (actually, maybe not that hard, because your punches are unnaturally strong for a girl). Anyway, don't cry tomorrow morning okay? I hate seeing that dumb, sappy stuff. When I'm rich and famous, I'll find you and we can use my jetpacks to go to all the places we marked on that crummy map of yours. _

_The Greatest Person You'll Ever Meet  
(a.k.a Renji)_

Rukia watched as Renji's eyebrows creased. She desperately wanted to know what he was making of all this. He started to get up.

"Rukia?"

"Hm?"

"Can we visit that tree you were talking about earlier? Maybe I'll recognize it."

Rukia glanced at the clock. To be honest, she wasn't exactly sure how to _get _to Inuzuri from here. "I have some…business to do today, but we can try to look for it tomorrow if you'd like."

He nodded. "Tomorrow after school then?"

"Sure," she said, feeling a sense of swelling in her heart. She was glad that he was willing to try and connect his past, but it seemed unlikely that he would ever regain his memories again. But she cared about him too much to just let him go like that. A few misplaced years didn't change who he _was_.

The two of them exchanged phone numbers before she walked him to the foyer.

Renji turned around to face her under the doorframe. "Thanks, uh, Rukia. This has been… kind of overwhelming."

Rukia attempted to smile, though it probably resembled anything but.

"I know."

Renji gave her one last wave before turning around to walk away.

She closed the door behind him as he exited through the yard. Her arms extended towards the ceiling when a loud yawn passed through her lips. She tried to suppress the whirlwind of emotions spinning in her head as she trudged back upstairs, but it only encouraged the ache she felt. In this state, getting ready for her 'fake' family meeting with Ichigo was the last thing she wanted to do.

Come to think of it, she could just as easily sabotage this entire date and leave Ichigo in ruins. In fact, that would probably be more fun than pretending to be some perfectly poised princess. But Rukia had a point to prove, and she wasn't about give any satisfaction to that knuckle-headed moron.

Once she was back in her room, she collapsed on the bed and held her phone above her face. She still needed to reply to that boy.

_That boy_.

Right, she had been meaning to ask for his name before Renji rudely invited himself in. She sharply turned over on her side when she remembered something.

_Orihime_. That was the name he had wailed in the voice mail. Could it be the same Orihime from the diner? If it was, then Rukia wouldn't feel comfortable meeting him- even if it _was _only a 'practice date.' She thumbed in her text message.

_I'm only here to teach you how to properly flatter a girl. U'll get bonus points if u bring me additional rabbit mochi :) P.S In order for us to proceed, I believe I shud kno ur name. _

Without a second thought, she pressed the send button and sat straight up. As she scanned the garments in her closet, she suddenly spotted a bloated, rectangular object sitting on the floor. She realized that it was a wallet, but it definitely wasn't _her _wallet. Renji must've dropped it on his way out.

She quickly grabbed the leather square and clumsily dashed back down to the foyer. Maybe she could still catch up to him- he couldn't have gotten that far yet. With a swift twist of the handle, she swung the door wide open.

"_Fuck_!" A gruff voice suddenly cried out.

Rukia jumped back, startled by the loud outburst. Doors didn't _talk_. When she finally saw a pair of legs attached to the human she had knocked back, she scrambled to apologize. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I was rushing out to get this wallet and- _oh_, it's you." Rukia stopped fretting when she acknowledged that it was only Carrot Top gracing her doorstep with a disgruntled look on his face. "I guess it's okay then," she said airily.

"You _bitch_," he spat out as he cupped both hands over his nose. "You almost broke my nose!"

The sound of his plugged voice was slightly amusing.

"Oh, suck it up. Your precious nose is fine. What are you doing here so early anyway?" she demanded haughtily. Rukia _did_ feel a little bad when she noticed that his eyes were starting to tear up though. "Aw, do you want an ice pack for your boo-boo, baby?" she cooed mockingly.

But not bad enough.

"Shut up," he grumbled as he slowly unclamped his hands from his face. "We need to discuss a few things for tonight."

Rukia still didn't budge. "Like what?"

"You'll find out once you let me in," he exclaimed impatiently as he gestured towards the indoors.

She let out a pointed sigh but moved aside so that he could enter. "We can go to the kitchen," she told him while leading the way.

Rukia noticed how he marvelled at the long corridors and grand paintings. She didn't blame him though, since that was exactly how she reacted when she first moved in. "Does everyone know where Byakuya Kuchiki lives or what?" she wondered out loud. Secretly, she had been hoping that Ichigo wouldn't be able to pinpoint her address, since she didn't actually specify it to him on the bus earlier.

But alas, here he was.

"He's the resident money-making mogul. It's kind of hard to miss this enormous mansion anyway," he replied coolly. "Didn't seem like the guy who would adopt though. _Especially_ not a pest like you."

She quickly elbowed him in the stomach. "You sure are ignorant," she snapped.

He shot her a deadly look as he clutched the area that she had pierced. "Haven't you abused me enough for today?" he growled.

"_You _were the one just standing around on the doorstep like some creep, so that was your own fault."

"And how was I supposed to know that some crazy chick was going to swing the door open at full force on me?"

Rukia rolled her eyes. "That's what doors do, they _open_." He was still infuriating as ever. She was beginning to circle the idea of making his family _hate _her. Just to piss him off.

When they finally arrived in the kitchen, the two of them settled in the stools by the island. He whipped out a piece of paper and pencil from his jean pocket. Rukia raised her eyebrows at this, curious about what he was getting at.

He started to sketch out a rough picture. As the shapes and lines came together, she saw that it was turning out to be a floor-plan of some sort.

"Okay Shortcake, here's what we're going to do: at six o'clock, we will walk down this alleyway, and then we'll enter my house through the back door." Ichigo used the tip of his pencil to point at the little square bracket he drew as an opening. "After that, we'll carefully tip-"

"I thought this was a dinner, not an infiltration mission," Rukia interrupted dryly.

Ichigo stopped to glare at her. "Trust me, meeting my family requires extensive planning if you want to come out alive."

She tapped on the piece of paper. "Would you calm down? I'm not going to embarrass you- no matter how tempting it may be- so stop _worrying_."

"It's not me I'm worried about! This is for _your_ sake! My dad will quite literally pounce on you if we just casually stroll in through the front entrance. Jeez," he snapped.

Rukia blinked at him naively. "You mean he'll ask me a lot of questions?"

Ichigo scowled while scratching his head. "Yes, that too. Can we at least establish our relationship history then?" He stuck his pencil behind his ear. "Since you refuse to listen to my brilliant entrance plan," he muttered begrudgingly.

"Wow you really thought this through," she commented in surprise. Rukia heard him grumble something along the lines of 'door' and 'stupid old man' under his breath. "Okay. What did you have in mind, smart guy?"

He leaned his back against the ledge of the island. "Just the basics- like, how long have we been together?"

The thought alone made Rukia wince involuntarily. "One month seems reasonable," she replied slowly. "I still don't see why you can't just tell them that you don't actually have a girlfriend."

"Let's just say that my dad is a very unforgiving man," he said flatly. "And sure, a month sounds good."

She still didn't let the matter drop though. "Are they pushing you to get in a relationship?"

Ichigo crossed his arms and looked away. "It's not like that…"

"Then what is it?" she demanded.

He huffed. "My little sister told my father that I had a girlfriend, when in fact we just broke up. So my idiotic dad ripped my door off its hinges and is now holding it for ransom. He wants to see this 'girlfriend' of mine- and that's where you come in." He nodded towards her.

Rukia frowned at him. "You mean he just tore the thing off and stashed it in some secret hiding place?"

"Uh huh. Does he seem crazy to you _now_?"

"Maybe a little, but I still think you're being paranoid," she said. She started to lean in towards him with a gleam of curiosity in her eyes. "_So_, how long have you been with this girl? I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to-"

"We were together for six months," he mumbled quietly.

Rukia gawked at him in disbelief. "Six _months _and your family had never seen her before? What the heck were you trying to hide? Frankly, I would've dumped you on the spot," she pointed out.

"Well then _thank God_ I'm not the unlucky bastard dating _you_," Ichigo said sarcastically while making a loud clicking noise with his tongue. "And I wasn't hiding anything! We just preferred to hang out at her place because she lives alone, so the occasion never came." He blew out a sigh. "I guess a part of me was reluctant for her to meet my crazy family too…but it wasn't exactly a _conscious_ thought."

Rukia blinked at him. "She lives alone? Is she an older woman?"

"_No_, she's-" he paused and shook his head. "-look, it's complicated alright? Can we just focus?"

Rukia tried to hide the disappointment on her face. She wanted to find out more about this independent lady of his, but it seemed like a touchy subject judging by how tense he had grown. She plastered a smile on her face and spoke. "Fine. Oh! Do I get to call you cute pet names like honey-bunny? Or snooki-bear?" she beamed in delight.

Ichigo did the exact opposite with a grimace. "That is not cute, that is _emasculate_," he deadpanned. "If you ever call a man by those names, his balls will just shrivel up. And die."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "You're clearly just a pea-brained barbarian."

He rolled his eyes and ignored her comment. "_Anyway_. Your name will be Rini Kurumitsu, and you'll-"

"Why can't I use my own name?" she cut in abruptly.

"Because if you tell them your _real _name, my father will use it to track you down long after this dinner is over," he said. He seemed positive that it would be more than likely to happen.

Rukia exhaled and stared at him. "You are definitely going overboard with this, but I'm only saying 'yes' because Rini means little bunny," she piped up cheerfully.

"What's with you and rabbits anyway? They're just smelly-"

Ichigo immediately stopped talking when he noticed the dark glower that suddenly loomed over Rukia's features. "-_I mean_…they're adorable little creatures…" he finished uneasily. He didn't think that someone so tiny could look so damn _menacing_ all of a sudden.

A perky smile broke on her face. "They are, aren't they?"

"Yeah, fine, whatever. We still need a story to tell." Ichigo casually rested his hands behind his head as he continued to speak. "Any ideas? 'Cause I was thinking that it should go something like this: I'm at the beach with my friends- when suddenly-" he paused for dramatic effect, "-I hear an irritating squealing noise in the distance. I turn around and spot a little pipsqueak- this is you by the way- flailing in the water while gasping out, "_Save me! Save me!"_ So being the heroic superman that I am, I dive right in to rescue you. And that's how we meet."

Rukia looked at him contentiously and lifted an eyebrow. "Wha- _excuse_ me? I do _not _gasp! And no way am I going to be some pathetic damsel in distress! Besides, if that actually happened, I bet you would've tried to drown me faster while cackling out in a manic hysteria." She tightly crossed her arms over her chest. "_Am I right_?"

He also narrowed his eyes in a frustrated manner. "For your information, I would never harm a girl no matter what!"

"Wow, how _noble _of you," she spat out scathingly. "But you seem to have no problem _insulting_ a girl!"

"And when the hell did I insult you just now? !"

Rukia kept her arms close to restrain from gouging his eyeballs out. "You called me a pipsqueak!" she exclaimed in a loud shout.

"That wasn't an insult, it was merely an observation!" Ichigo retorted.

Rukia grit her teeth in annoyance. She was beginning to feel the all-too-familiar surge of anger coursing through her veins. "You know what? If you ever _do_ try to 'save me' from drowning, I'll just dunk your big fat head under the water, then use it as a stepping stone to get to the shore. You can rot in- in fish hell for all I care!" she burst out hotly.

She knew she was acting childish, but this boy with solar bright hair had a knack for bringing out the ugly immaturity she was capable of.

He sucked in a deep breath as she continued to fume. "Are we really arguing over something that never happened?"

Rukia contemplated the pettiness of this whole situation. He was making a valid point, but it didn't mean that she felt any less bitter. After a couple seconds of silence, she finally uncrossed her arms in a defeated slump. "Yes," she mumbled unwillingly.

Ichigo sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Rukia was stupefied by the soft expression that was suddenly cast on his eyes as he faced her.

"Okay, as much as you want to cut my body up, stuff the pieces in a blender, and then feed my liquefied guts to rabid lions- the feeling is mutual, _believe _me- I don't think that we should go on like this. So how 'bout a truce? For sanity's sake." He held out his hand for her to shake.

Rukia eyed it suspiciously. The two of them _would _probably end up killing each other one way or another if they didn't make 'peace' now. But she was like a ticking time bomb in his presence; it only took a matter of minutes for her to explode in an outrage at him.

But it wasn't a healthy feeling.

She finally pushed down her pride and gave in. "Fine, but don't expect me to start baking you cupcakes." Her lips pursed into a rigid line as she stuck her arm out as well. It was warm to the touch when his larger hand easily wrapped around her smaller one. They shook once.

"Good, 'cause I bet you'd poison the batter anyway," he said nonchalantly.

Rukia bit down her tongue before she could snap back at him. She forced herself to flash him a sugary sweet smile before she spoke. "You catch on quick, don't you? Anyway, I'm going upstairs to get ready. I'll be back in a bit."

His eyes followed her as she started to leave.

-※-

"Wait- you're going to wear _that_?" Ichigo gawked incredulously while Rukia made her way down the curved staircase.

She stopped walking as she peered at the back of her attire. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" The corners of her lips turned downwards as she did this.

"Um, the fact that it looks like a peacock that's been run over by a train? _Repeatedly_?" he exclaimed. "Plus this is a casual dinner, you don't have to wear anything fancy," Ichigo added when he started to walk up the stairs towards her.

A crimson shade of red diffused on her cheeks as his steps came closer. Rukia knew that she was clueless when it came to anything fashion-related. She never had to worry about looking good at her orphanage because people didn't care enough to bother. The concept of beauty was a complete mystery to her, so she had hastily picked out the loudest dress from her closet.

Clearly, that was a mistake.

"If you're such a genius, then why don't you help me pick out an outfit?" she huffed, still piqued by his immediate disapproval.

Ichigo held his palms up in surrender. "I never _said _that I was some fashion expert, but it doesn't take a genius to see that what you're wearing is on the borderline of insane."

She shot him a tempestuous glare before lifting the sides of the skirt off the ground and marching back up to the second floor.

"Hey!" Ichigo called out while chasing after her. "Damn it!" he cursed as she sped up.

Ichigo followed her all the way to her bed room, but Rukia slammed the door on his face before he could even poke his nose inside. After several knocks, he finally gave up and leaned his back against the door.

He didn't understand girls sometimes.

Ichigo almost fell backwards when the door opened unexpectedly. "_Woah_," he wailed out of instinct. He began to stagger a couple of steps to balance himself. Ichigo twisted his body around and opened his mouth to yell at Rukia, but his words were caught in his throat once he saw her.

Rukia stood still for his perusal. Clinging to her petite frame was a simple white dress that ended just above her knees. It accentuated the subtle curves she possessed (that Ichigo had initially deemed nonexistent), and it left just enough to the imagination.

He mentally slapped himself when he realized he was staring.

Rukia placed her hand on her hip and scowled at him. "What's with that face? Are you going to say that, I look like a 'polar bear that's been mauled by a vulture,' now?"

Ichigo swallowed hard and shook his head. "N-No. You look fine- and I don't think that a vulture would win in a fight with a polar bear anyway. They don't even live in the same _environment,_ smartass," he choked out. "Let's just go already."

"Hold on, I need five more minutes," she told him hurriedly. "You can come in if you want."

With light and hesitant steps, Ichigo padded inside her room, not entirely sure what to expect. He was surprised by how barren the huge area looked though. He thought that a girl's room would be more…_girly_, but the piles of cardboard boxes reminded him that she had just recently moved in.

Rukia skipped to the full length mirror by her bed. She unscrewed the lid of the mascara tube she had been holding and carefully coated her lashes. On the first day here, she had discovered a stash of make-up hidden in her washroom cabinets. The experimentation process was a disaster, but she managed to weed out the products she would _never_ touch again. Which was pretty much ninety percent of the stash.

"What the hell are you doing with a mini toilet scrubber?" Ichigo asked from where he was standing. He craned his neck to get a better look at what she was applying.

Distracted by his idiotic question, Rukia accidentally poked the tip of the wand in her eye. "Ow!" She flinched before dropping the stick. Her eyes started to water as a sharp stinging sensation invaded her optical nerves. She bent over and blindly searched for the mascara wand with her hands.

"_Here, _you dummy."

Rukia looked up with one eye at the tube being held out in front of her face. She grabbed it from Ichigo's hand before getting back up on her feet. "Thanks," she muttered, trying to hide the colour flushed on her cheeks.

He took his thumb and swiped it down the bridge of her nose. "You have some black gunk on there," he said while showing her the back of his finger.

She furiously rubbed at her nose to scour the product off. "Is it gone?" she asked, blinking up at him.

Ichigo then used his soiled thumb and wiped the remaining mascara on her cheeks. "There, now you look like some tribal princess. My dad will _love _that," he smirked.

"_Ichigo_!" Rukia glowered at him darkly and tensed her arms.

His face twisted into a weird look as she bristled.

Rukia also frowned when she registered what had just come out of her mouth. His name felt strange on her tongue, especially since she's only been addressing him with words synonymous to 'moron' since they've met. She finally broke the silence by turning around and storming into her bathroom to wash the smeared mascara off her cheeks.

_Stupid Strawberry Boy, _Rukia thought as she dabbed the warm water on her face. She tore the towel off its rack and wiped the wet droplets off her skin.

With one last look in the mirror, she took a deep breath and walked back outside.

"Okay, I'm ready to leave."

-※-

Rukia widened her eyes and stared up at the sign that read _Kurosaki Clinic_. "Wow, your father is a doctor? He must be a pretty smart man then," she mused.

He almost scoffed at her remark. "You can say that. Are you sure you still want to go in through the front door?" Ichigo asked. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he stared at the house.

She gave him a hard look. "_Yes_, it would be rude if I didn't. Come on!" Rukia started to drag Ichigo towards the glass doors. She extended her hand out to ring the doorbell.

"I have a key you kno-"

"GOOOOD EVENING I-CHIGOOOO!" A lively voice hollered from inside.

Rukia could only watch as all hell broke loose when a grown _man _came hurling out of the doorway and shot straight towards Ichigo. Before his fist could even make contact with the boy, Ichigo had already kicked his father down and was grinding his dad's head in the dirt with his foot.

She was about to run over to the scene, but Ichigo's father had almost instantly recovered and was up on his two feet. "What kind of son kicks his dear old daddy in the face? !" he scolded while butting his head towards Ichigo.

"And what kind of dad greets his son with a punch? !" Ichigo countered with just as much vigor.

They snarled at each other with low breaths.

Suddenly, a little girl with honey-brown hair hurried towards the two males and pushed them apart. "You two are scaring our guest!" she quipped in a frantic tone.

"Boys are such _imbeciles_."

Rukia turned around and spotted _another_ little girl with inky black hair pulled up in a pony-tail. She was casually leaning against the doorframe. "Can't you guys act _normal _for once?" she hissed at her family.

The one who had interrupted the fight between Ichigo and his father hopped over to Rukia with an apologetic smile on her face. "Hi!" she piped up. "My name is Yuzu, and this is my sister Karin. It's nice to meet you!"

Rukia immediately snapped out of her daze and smiled at the girl in front of her. She was pleasantly surprised by how sweet Ichigo's sister was; she seemed to be the complete opposite of him. "My name is Ru- I mean, my name is Rini Kurumitsu. It's great to finally meet you as well!" she said delightedly.

"And I'm Isshin Kurosaki, this idiot's father!" The tall man in a white lab coat knocked Ichigo on the head before clambering up to introduce himself. "But you can call me daddy if you want!"

Ichigo scowled but didn't react violently. "_Okay_, happy introduction time is over, we don't want Yuzu's cooking to get cold, now do we?" He started to usher everyone inside the house impatiently, eager to get this over with as fast as possible.

Once they were in the house, Yuzu took little leaps to the kitchen and grabbed a spatula off the counter. "Dinner will be ready in five minutes everyone!" she hollered as the Motley crew began to settle down in their respective seats.

"Sit next to me," Ichigo reminded Rukia in a whisper. She nodded and pulled out the chair beside his.

"Thank you for having me over for dinner!" she said brightly as she did a little bow before sitting down.

Isshin gave her a sparkling thumbs-up gesture. "No problem! Any friend of Ichigo's is a friend of mine!" his voice boomed.

"That's really not how it works…" Ichigo muttered. He passed a pair of wooden chopsticks to Rukia.

'Karin' looked over at her. "I apologize for our dad beforehand in case he does anything stupider than existing," she said with a stolid expression.

Rukia had no idea how to respond to this when Isshin suddenly jumped up from his seat and scrambled to a wall in the back of the room. "_Masaki_, Karin is finally becoming a moody teenager! How should I deal with thiiiiisss?" he cried out while hugging the enormous poster plastered on the white surface.

"Isn't it about time you took that dumb poster down?" Karin rolled her eyes at her dad's actions.

Rukia stared at the blown-up photo of the smiling lady with warm eyes and wavy brown hair. The words read 'Masaki Forever,' but she didn't have a clue what it meant. She leaned closer to Ichigo. "Is that girl a celebrity or something?"

Ichigo shook his head at her question. "No, it's a picture of my mom," he answered in a whisper. "But she passed away some years ago."

Rukia stole a quick glance at the photo again. "Oh…I'm sorry," she said softly. Now it was easier to tell that the woman was related to Ichigo because they shared some features. She noticed that the two of them had the same sharp, yet puppy-like eyes that emitted warmth no matter what expression they wore. Rukia kept a steady gaze on her plate and decided not to pry about the poster.

"So Rini, what made you settle for such a dope like Ichigo?" Isshin propped his elbows up on the table to prepare his inquiries.

Rukia couldn't help but giggle at this. She could agree with this enthusiastic man. Beside her, Ichigo was giving his father a deadly look. "Oh Ichigo is actually quite sweet! He has this cute little agenda where he plans out every single detail of his day. It's almost obsessive! But adorable nonetheless. Isn't that right, honey-muffin?" She turned to give Ichigo a saccharine smile.

Isshin raised his eyebrows. "Really? No wonder he's such a square sometimes. Live a little, son!"

"I _like_ to be organized," Ichigo chided through grit teeth. He narrowed his eyes at her.

Yuzu swooped in and placed the dishes down in front of them. "How did the two of you meet each other? Oh, I bet it must've been so _romantic_," she gushed as she took a seat next to Karin.

Ichigo was about to answer, but Rukia immediately cut him off.

"Funny story actually-"

"No, _sweetie_, the story is _really_ not that funny," he said in a strained voice, afraid of what she might say.

She kept the smile on her face but gave him a hard smack on the shoulder. He didn't bother hiding his displeasure when she did this. "Don't be embarrassed,_ snookums_!" she started with underlying poison in her tone. "We met at an amusement park, and Ichigo here was this persistent little puppy who would _not_ leave me alone! So what he did was scale one of the rides, and refuse to come down unless I went on a date with him. I suppose it was sweet..."

"Aw, Onii-chan!" Yuzu squealed.

Ichigo gaped at Rukia in mortification. "You-"

He wasn't able to give her a piece of his mind when his dad suddenly pounded down on his back in approval. "Good to know that you have some guts, Ichigo!"

Rukia gave him a triumphant smirk. "Of course I didn't want to see him get hurt, so I _had _to accept- and it turns out that he's actually not so bad." She patted his bright, spiky hair twice.

Finally fed up, Ichigo scooted his chair back and shot up from his seat. "I'm going to uh, make some tea for you guys." He turned his head to look at Rukia. "Rini, why don't you come help me?" His clipped tone of voice indicated that there was an '_or else_' attached to the end of that request.

Rukia rolled her eyes but smiled at everyone at the table. She carefully got up as well and quickly followed Ichigo down the hallway. "Where are we going to make tea, the freaking _basement_?" she hissed once they were out of earshot.

"_No_, we're going to the pantry to get some tea bags," he snapped back. "What the hell were you trying to pull back there? !"

They rounded a corner and stopped at the closet located at the end of the hallway. Ichigo walked towards it and swung open the doors. He started to fill his arms with several shiny packets.

"I was improvising! Didn't you want me to tell a story?"

"Not one that made me sound like some whipped pansy!" he seethed.

She scrunched her face up at him. "I made you look _charming_," she retorted defensively.

They started to walk back to the kitchen side-by-side with heavy footsteps. Their shoulders and hips bumped aggressively. "Charming my ass. And didn't I tell you not to call me those stupid pet names?"

"What about _pumpkin_? You have a striking resemblance to the fruit anyway, so I don't see a problem with that one," Rukia jeered mockingly.

"You know, I thought the Kuchiki's were known for their sophistication and tact, but I guess the gene just decided to skip you."

"Why you-"

The 'couple' paused when they realized that they had arrived at the kitchen table, and each member of the Kurosaki family was staring at them mid-bite. "Uh…darling, why don't you get the water ready?" Ichigo suggested so that they wouldn't blow their cover.

Yuzu jumped up and ran over to her older brother. "Onii-chan, she's a guest!" the pig-tailed girl chastised. "_I'll_ boil the water." She took the packages from his hands and walked over to the kitchen sink.

"Look at you two! Fighting like an old married couple already!" Isshin leaned back in his chair. "Ichigo, why don't you give your lady a smooch? C'mon, show her some love!"

Yuzu stopped to watch. Even Karin was paying close attention to the pair now.

"Um...we should eat our food first!" Ichigo exclaimed. He noticed that Rukia was frozen in a panic.

"Y-Yeah!" she agreed fleetly. "Yuzu's cooking is wonderful, and I want to have a taste of that curry."

Isshin waved his arms in swift, horizontal slashes. "No, no! Be a man Ichigo, show 'em how it's done," he insisted.

Rukia shot Ichigo a warning look. Her midnight eyes were wide with anxiety.

_What can I do_? he mouthed at her. She squeezed her lids shut as he started to lean in closer. She collected all of her will power to _not_ shrink away in repulsion.

But he only pressed a quick peck on her forehead. "There. Now let's eat-"

"_Is that what you call a kiss? !_" his father burst out. "You can do better than that! Give her a real kiss!"

"_Yeah_, Ichi-nii," Karin taunted with her chopsticks.

Before he could make a decision, Rukia quickly moved her hand and knocked over a glass of water. The liquid splashed on to her dress and all over the food. It started to seep into the tablecloth, dripping on the floor in steady intervals. A shrill gasp projected through her mouth as she jumped back. "I am _such _a klutz! I'm so sorry about that- I'll clean it up right away!"

She'd be damned if she had to kiss those lips.

Yuzu grasped several paper towels and hurried over to the mess. "It's okay Rini, these things happen," she said reassuringly. Everyone started to wipe at the wet spot.

"Nice save," Ichigo whispered to her. He seemed relieved too.

"Ichi-nii, see if you have some clothes for her to change into," Karin told her brother as she bunched up the towels. "Her dress is soaking wet."

"Okay!" Ichigo grabbed Rukia's wrist before she could protest, and dragged her upstairs to his room.

She yanked her hand back and twisted it a couple of times in circular motions when they were inside. He didn't have to be so _harsh_. "What's your problem?" she snapped moodily. Then she noticed the door in place. "Hey…I thought you said that your dad ripped the door off..."

Ichigo scratched his head. "Huh. I guess he put it back," he grinned. Rukia stared at him, fearing that he might actually start hugging the door by the way he was giving it such an endearing expression.

He put his hand over his chest. "And thank God you did that. Otherwise, my friend would've _killed_ me if I actually kissed you."

"And why's that?"

Ichigo padded towards his closet and began to rummage through it for some clothes. "It's a long story," he muttered.

Rukia then felt a pile of fabric land on her head. She pulled the clothes off indignantly. "Hey!" she growled at him.

"You wanted clothes didn't you? You can change in my closet." He pointed at the sliding doors in front of him.

She gave him a look of disbelief. "You want me to change in _there_?"

"Uh, yes?"

Rukia reluctantly marched to the closet and climbed inside. "This is _degrading_, you know. At home, I have my own walk-in wardrobe," she huffed.

Ichigo crossed his arms. "Yeah well, not everyone is related to someone who can pull money out of their ass," he said dismissively with an eye roll.

"_Don't _peek," Rukia ordered as she slammed the door shut.

Minutes later, she came back out with a crabby expression sewn on her features. Ichigo had to stifle his laughter when he saw that his tee shirt doubled as a dress on her small stature. It was loosely fit and stopped right at the knees. He remembered how his shirts would actually ride _up _when Orihime wore them.

"Shut up, Strawberry Boy." She stalked out of Ichigo's room without looking back at him.

Rukia made her way down the stairs and took a deep breath before taking on her cheerful persona again. "Hi everyone!" she greeted the scattered bodies in the living room.

"Rini!" Yuzu called out from behind the counter. "The food is too soggy to eat now, so I'm just heating up some canned food. I'm sorry about this," she informed her.

Rukia waved her hands back and forth. "Oh no! It's all my fault, I should be the one saying sorry! And that sounds fantastic! Thank you," she chirped while walking towards Isshin and Karin. The father and daughter were flipping through a giant book of some sort. Rukia realized that it was a photo album when she was finally close enough to see its contents.

Isshin stood up dramatically and placed the back of his hand on his forehead. "My children are growing up so fast," he said tearily.

"Is that Ichigo?" Rukia asked while pointing to an orange-haired baby in the photo. "But he's so…_cute_!"

Karin smiled. "I know. What happened, right?" She thumbed to the next page.

Rukia bent over and carefully sat beside her on the couch. They looked through the captured memories of the Kurosaki family together. She noticed that in all the pictures, young Ichigo was grinning like fool…but it suited him. She didn't understand how this little boy could have morphed into someone who was _always _sporting a scowl.

Karin flipped through a couple more pages, but one photo in particular caught her eye. It was of Ichigo and his mother. He looked about eight years old, and was sitting on her lap on a park bench. The two of them were smiling at each other lovingly.

Masaki was a beautiful mother.

Rukia didn't realize that she had reached out to touch the pocketed picture.

"This is…the woman on the poster right?" she asked.

Karin nodded. "Mhm, she's our mom. But she died before I got to know her too well."

Rukia looked at her."I get how hard it is to lose someone you love. My sister passed away when I was young, so we weren't exceptionally close either…but I do miss her sometimes," she said in a softer voice.

The pony-tailed girl was about to respond, but she was suddenly interrupted.

"What are you two talking about?"

Rukia glanced up to see a bemused looking Ichigo standing in front of them. She scowled at him. "We're talking about bras and panties," she told him petulantly. "Nothing of interest to you."

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "It just so happens that I am an expert at all things bra and panty related. Pray tell."

Karin snorted at her older brother. "Gross Ichigo! Keep that information to yourself please."

His eyes grew big when he saw what they were looking at. "Why are you letting her look at my baby pictures? !" he cried out as he dove for the album. Karin snapped the book shut and held it away from his reach.

"What's wrong? You look cute in these pictures!" Rukia giggled teasingly as she poked his collarbone.

Ichigo rolled his eyes for the millionth time. "I just need to have a private word with my _girlfriend _here," he said. "Do you mind?"

His tom-boy of a sister put her hands up nonchalantly. "Talk away."

Rukia shot him a puzzled look as she got up. "What is it?"

Ichigo started to lead her back upstairs. She quickened her steps to match his pace. "I just had an idea," he told her as they stumbled into his room once again.

"And just what is this 'brilliant idea' of yours. I was bonding with your sister back there!" she pouted. She put both hands on her hips impatiently.

His tangerine spikes bounced as he started to pace around the room. "You don't have to 'bond' with anyone, 'cause you're not my actual girlfriend, remember?"

Rukia blinked once and sighed. "I know. Fine, what do you want?"

Ichigo stopped moving and clapped his hands together. "We're going to stage a fight," he said finally.

"Why would we do that? I thought you wanted your family to _like _me."

He took out a bunch of solid items from his drawers and laid them out on the desk. "Yeah, but then they'll get attached to you. That's why we need to end this 'fake relationship' as quickly as possible- and it's even better that they'll be here to witness it."

Rukia sat on the edge of his bed as she processed this. "I guess you're right…"

"Hey! Don't sit on my bed!" he cried out. His eye visibly twitched at this.

Her mouth curled up in amusement. "Why are you being so stingy?" she asked while deliberately putting her legs up on the mattress. "I _am _your girlfriend for the time being after all."

"You-" His hand balled up in a fist when he sighed. "_Fine_, whatever. Just stop moving around so damn much!"

Rukia laughed, but did as she was told.

"What do you want to argue about?" he asked her.

"And to think that we just promised _not _to fight ever again a couple of hours ago. But anyway, how about this: you're a cheating bastard who eloped with some blonde bimbo while I was away on vacation," she crafted on the spot.

Ichigo flinched. "Can we dilute that situation a bit? I'd prefer something that _won't_ cause my dad to kick me out of the house," he suggested uneasily. "Maybe I just don't spend enough time with you...?"

Rukia nodded and opened her mouth. All of a sudden, a blood-curdling scream reverberated in the room. Ichigo almost jumped out of his skin when she did this. He was afraid that his windows were being threatened to shatter.

"YOU LYING, INSENSITIVE _JERK_!" she shrieked as she jumped up off the bed. "HOW COULD YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU?"

He took a couple of steps back, still a little shocked despite the fact that it was all an act. "Wow, you're _good_," he said right before going into character. "AND JUST WHAT THE _HELL _ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Ichigo shouted back. "I didn't do anything _wrong_!"

Rukia picked up a single slipper and chucked it in his direction. He immediately ducked and covered his head with his hands as the projectile sailed across the air. "You don't have to actually hit me!" he whispered harshly.

She clamped her hands over her mouth to keep from giggling out. "Oops! Sorry!" she apologized half-heartedly before resuming.

"What am I talking about? _WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? ! _You told me that you were 'dropping off a package' at a friend's house last night! But I _saw _you and your dumb 'broskies' hanging out and being the stupid idiots you guys are!" she accused bitterly.

"Well _sorry _for not wanting to be smothered by your bullshit! Every I want to hang out with my friends, you go bat-shit _crazy _on me and ask me a billion fucking questions! Do you think I want to go through that again?"

She took another solid object off his desk, but this time, she threw it at the opposite wall. It made a loud _thunking _sound. "Oh I bet you wouldn't want me to ask those questions because you're always _lying- _you stupid, butt-faced _liar_!"

Ichigo looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Butt-faced? _Really_?" he repeated dryly.

Rukia blinked. "What?"

"Never mind, let's just…go on," he rolled his eyes. "YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SICK OF YOU AND YOUR CLINGY ATTITUDE! I don't need this crap in my life!"

"WELL I FEEL THE SAME WAY!" she screamed. But it was difficult not to burst into laughter. "I GUESS THIS MEANS WE'RE BREAKING UP!" Rukia said more loudly.

"FINE!"

"_FINE!" _

Ichigo slammed the door shut for a good measure.

Rukia leapt towards him giddily and raised her hand to give him a high-five. "Yes!" she cried out. "I mean, _yes_," she said more quietly. "I think we did a pretty convincing job, if I do say so myself."

"I hope so," Ichigo grinned. "Hey I'm going to use the washroom. Stay here. I'll tell you what to do after."

She didn't look too happy about being ordered around like that, but she didn't protest.

Ichigo exited his room and headed for the bathroom down the hall. He was glad that he could finally put this fiasco to a close. His door was back in place, so mission accomplished.

Right?

As he hovered over the toilet to do his business, he wondered if he would ever speak to Rukia again after tonight. She seemed to hate his guts after all, but he had to admit, what she did for him was pretty sweet. Too bad he wasn't very good at thanking people.

Ichigo turned on the tap and washed his hands before sauntering back. He closed the door behind him, but instantly stopped in his tracks when he noticed the giant lump on his bed. "Rukia?" He hesitantly approached it.

Rukia was curled up in a snug position on his sheets. Her chest rose up and down steadily as she slept. Ichigo couldn't help but smile at this. She was snoring loudly, but it was cute. It was as if she was a whole different person when she was asleep. Rukia looked calm and serene in her state of rest, nothing like the fiery girl he was familiar with in the daylight. Her lacy eyelashes fluttered.

He decided against waking her up. It wouldn't hurt to let her sleep for another twenty minutes or so.

With that in mind, Ichigo stood up straight and grabbed _A Midsummer Night's Dream _off of his bookshelf. He flipped to the dog-eared page and settled in his chair.

-※-

Downstairs, Isshin Kurosaki was clutching his heart with his hand. "My poor babies are _fighting_? !" he wailed out loud.

"Get over it dad, couples fight all the time. They're no exception," Karin said in a dismissive tone.

Yuzu was also holding her hand over her chest. She had a worried look shadowing on her face. "But it stopped now. See?"

The trio all listened intently. True enough, there was no more shouting to be heard from above.

"Daughters!" Isshin started firmly. "Go upstairs and check up on them! I want to know what's going on."

"Ichi-Nii will kill us if he finds out we've been spying on him…" the black-haired girl warned. But Yuzu was already skipping up the flight. "Yuzu!" she called out in exasperation.

Karin trailed after her twin sister reluctantly. Once they made it to Ichigo's room, Yuzu cautiously pressed her ear against the door.

"What do you hear?" Karin asked. Curiosity got the best of her, and she too leaned over to listen.

Heavy breathing was heard from the other side. The pony-tailed sister immediately jumped up from her bent position.

"Oh my God, I knew it. They're having break-up sex aren't they? Ugh, Ichigo is _such _a pig!"

* * *

Did you guys read all of it? Haha! I know it was long :) I don't think the next chapters will be quite so large...so don't worry! I hope this chapter wasn't too boring. I had a lot of trouble writing it. Please tell me your thoughts!

And thank you guys for all the anime suggestions ^^ I ended up watching Death Note first (thanks to A Self Deprecating Person for getting me to watch it ;D!) Now I'm watching some Toradora episodes when I can :)


	6. Six

**Notes: **I'm still alive you guys! I know it's been a million years (okay, 4 months- but that's equally as bad) and I'm SO SORRY for not updating. I've been so busy with lame senior year stuff (namely the piles of homework), so I haven't been able to just sit down and type.

On another note, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope 2013 will be awesome for all of you :)

And what's this, almost 100 reviews?! That's so amazing I can't thank you guys enough.

* * *

_**Six**_

A warm beam of sunshine filtered across the room, causing Rukia to squint through sleepy eyes. She let out a frustrated groan when her ears picked up on the incessant chirping coming from outside, courtesy of the chickadees. What possessed those creatures to sing at such an ungodly hour was beyond her. Out of habit, Rukia grabbed the pillow from under her head and pressed it over her face to muffle the noises.

Several minutes passed, but the chipper whistling remained constant. It didn't take long for Rukia to give up on falling back asleep once she accepted that her efforts were all for naught. In an instant, she kicked off the covers and swung her bare legs over the bed.

Huh.

After taking a good look at her surroundings, it took every ounce of her being to _not_ scream out loud. She realized that she hadn't moved an inch from Carrot Top's bed. An exasperated cry emerged from her throat at the thought of this. How could she have allowed herself to spend the night? More importantly, why didn't anyone bother waking her _up_?

Panicking, Rukia immediately checked her body to see if everything was still in place.

Okay, good. All of her clothes- well, technically Ichigo's clothes- seemed to be covering what needed to be covered. And her undergarments hadn't been mercilessly shredded to bits…or whatever psychotic perverts liked to do with lingerie once they got their hands on it.

Not that she thought Ichigo was a psychotic pervert.

Much.

Rukia hastily got up off the bed and started to pace back and forth. Her small feet made nervous _thudding _noises against the sun-warmed floorboards. She anxiously bit down on her thumbnail while contemplating her next course of action.

There was no way that she would just go downstairs and nonchalantly waltz out the front door. She wondered if his family knew that she slept over. Oh God, what did they _think _of her now? The last thing she needed was to have the reputation of a first class skank, and it was even worse due to that 'fight' she had acted out with Ichigo last night. But nothing even happened…

Still, they didn't know that.

Speaking of which, where the hell _was _Ichigo?

Rukia finally decided that she would wait for him to come back upstairs. He would tell her what to do. Maybe there was a back door somewhere that she could slip through without being noticed. Holding onto that sliver of hope, she sat down on his computer chair and waited as the seconds ticked by. Restlessness was beginning to tickle her senses, but there was still no sign of Ichigo.

Unable to sit for any longer, she shot up from her seat and started to take a look around.

The first thing she noticed about his room was how uncharacteristically clean it appeared for a boy. There were no mountains of crusty clothing, or heaps of who-knows-what rotting in the corners like she had expected. Her eyebrows automatically creased at this. This boy really _was _anal about every little thing after all.

Rukia cautiously peered over the items sitting on his desk. She was on her tiptoes, and she didn't know why she was acting so suspicious in the first place. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong if he were to suddenly burst in- but for some reason, she felt like an intruder in his room.

The uneasy feeling wasn't enough to stop her from snooping around a bit though. She picked up a pencil off the surface and twirled it between her fingers.

Every inch of the room was kissed by his scent. It seemed to be some mixture of musk, sandalwood and peppermint.

Rukia couldn't find anything even remotely embarrassing enough to hold over his head. No weird, fetish-y collections- _nothing_.

Her hand reached for another drawer to pull open, and this time, light _clinking _sounds were made. To her surprise, shiny medals and trophies were entangled together inside. It looked as if he had carelessly tossed them there like it was a place for scrap metal. She laced one of the ribbons in her hand, noting that the medallion attached to it was for some type of martial art.

So this was how he was able to knock Pizza Face down so easily. She would call Ichigo a cheater- if it wasn't for the fact that he helped her out that time.

"_Jeez_, he must be a freak," she muttered to herself as she placed the disc back inside. Just as she was about to close the drawer, her eyes caught sight of a glossy photo resting amongst the trophies. Without a second thought, she gingerly lifted the picture up and glanced at the people frozen in it.

Rukia's eyes grew big when she saw that it was Ichigo and_ Tatsuki_ in the photo. They looked very young, maybe ten years old or so, but there was no doubt about it that the little girl was her. The two rascals were in their white karate uniforms, and they both had an arm around each other's shoulders. They must've been childhood friends.

Rukia put the picture back down and slammed the drawer shut. That was as thorough as she would get without feeling like a _total_ creep. Sighing, she absent-mindedly stretched her arms up in the air and took a couple steps forward. It wasn't until her hip bumped the edge of the bed frame when she spotted a tattered book wedged between the mattress and its box spring. Rukia kept her arms above her head and peeked at the ripped corner with one eye.

"Oops!" She feigned a gasp as she nudged the object a little harder. It turned out that the item was not a book, but a magazine that tumbled from its stuck position before landing spine-up on the floor.

Rukia stared at the crumpled pages with a mortified look on her face. Glamourized pictures of busty, _nude _women greeted her from below, and she wasn't sure how she should approach this. So as if the magazine was radioactive material, she quickly bent over and plucked it off the ground with her thumb and forefinger. A scoff passed through her lips at how typical Ichigo was turning out to be. Under the mattress was hardly a clever hiding spot.

She raised her eyebrows at the cover page. Gross. Carrot Top was probably a lecherous philanderer that jumped from woman to woman like a stupid, blood-sucking _gnat_.

But intrigue soon took over and it wasn't long before she was flippantly scrutinizing the racy pictures with each turn of the page. _How is this girl even able to stand upright? _Rukia thought irritably. _Wait…Orihime is living proof isn't she? _

Shaking her head, she brutally stuffed the magazine down his yellow waste bin. Her roaming eyes skimmed over the glowing red digits embedded in his clock, and her expression immediately turned sour.

It read nine o'clock, which meant that Ichigo already left for school half an _hour _ago!

Rukia wanted to release the shriek she had been holding in since rising from his pillow, but that would only draw attention. Instead, she figured that her best bet was to shimmy down the window somehow and dash across the lawn.

_Why_ did that idiot leave her to fend for herself?

She scrambled back on top of his bed and crawled towards her version of an 'escape tunnel.' She collected all the strength she had to push up the stubborn glass pane. A draft of wind blew her tresses all over the place once it finally budged.

Rukia poked her head out to look at what she had to work with. Her face lit up when she spotted a flat section of the roofing where she could jump on. It was generally low to the ground, so it wouldn't be impossible to make her way down to the very bottom. She held her breath and put one leg over the ledge, then carefully swung the other one over as well. She released her grip on the rim, and her entire body plummeted towards the platform.

Rukia's ankles absorbed the shock, causing her to wince a bit when she landed. Scolding herself into recovery, she nimbly darted to the edge of the roof, then looked around for something to grab onto so that she could scale back down. With no such luck, she decided to take her chances by slowly descending from the platform with her bare hands.

It took some time, but Rukia was able to successfully get her feet back on ground level with only a few battle scratches on her legs.

She pivoted her heels and prepared herself to run, but in her peripheral vision, she spotted a _police _car parked by the curb of the house. Frowning, she tip-toed across the grass lawn and hid behind a bush to see what was going on.

"Is this the man you saw, sir?" a big and burly looking policeman asked. He was sporting one of those mess-with-me-and-I'll-shove-you-in-a-dumpster type beards.

"Y-Yes. It's him. I'm positive."

_Hanataro_? !

Rukia's eyes almost popped out of their sockets at the sight of poor, frightened Hanataro. But what surprised her even more was seeing _Ichigo _also standing on the grass with his hands being cuffed behind his back. He was shouting unpleasant profanities at the policeman while this was happening.

It wasn't his blatant disrespect for authority that made her widen her eyes though, it was the fact that he was pretty much _naked_ except for a pair of bunny-clad boxers loosely clinging to his hips. _And the fool implied that he didn't like rabbits, _Rukia thought while rolling her eyes. But she still had to cover her mouth to suppress the giggles on her tongue.

He _did _have suspiciously nice forearms though…

_No_. She quickly shook her head and strained to focus.

"Arrest the impudent boy."

_Wha- Byakuya_? !

Rukia had to stable herself when she saw her step brother emerge from behind Hanataro. What in the world was going on? She desperately wanted to find out, but if she leapt out now, Nii-sama would certainly have her hanged, drawn, and quartered for not returning home without notifying him first. Plus she was wearing clothes that clearly belonged to the opposite sex.

Things were looking very bleak for her future at this point. And Ichigo's too, she supposed.

Ichigo struggled to free his hands, but all his efforts were in vain. "Let go of me!" he yelled. "I don't even know who you people _are_!"

Byakuya ignored him. "Tell me _boy_, why are you clothed in such indecent attire at this time of day?"

The ginger scowled at the stoic businessman in front of him. "I was sleeping on the couch- _minding my own business_- until _these_ two meat heads," he used his head to angrily gesture at the men restraining him, "barged into my house and hauled me outside for no friggin' reason! I couldn't exactly stop to throw on a pair of jeans you know!" he spat back.

Before Byakuya could respond, another figure suddenly came running out of the Kurosaki Clinic with a familiar cream coloured dress wedged under his arm. "Sir! I found this in one of the rooms, but your sister is still nowhere to be seen…"

Fury flashed in her brother's once he laid his eyes on the dress. His expression hardened as he faced Ichgio again. "I demand to know the whereabouts of Rukia Kuchiki," he pronounced firmly. "Hanataro stated that he saw her leave the house in that very dress. So that begs the question, why has it been _shed _from her body in the time period between then and now, _boy_?"

Rukia flinched. Even she could feel the frosty waves emitting from Byakuya's glare, and it wasn't even directed at her.

From her viewpoint, Ichigo looked absolutely enraged now. He shook his shackled hands violently, taking the policemen by surprise. "Rukia is upstairs damn it! I told you already!"

"Your sister isn't in the house. We've checked every nook and cranny, Sir," the man holding the garment interrupted.

Byakuya leaned in closer towards Ichigo. "If I go up there and find that Rukia is not, in fact, in your room like you claim- then prepare for a lifetime of misery and despair."

Ichigo snarled at this and sharply turned his head away with a scoff.

Rukia glanced around frantically, looking for something to delay Ichigo's impending death sentence. As she fidgeted around on the spot, her foot got caught in something solid on the grass. She kicked at the object in frustration, tripping over herself in the process. "Arrgh!" she cried out when she lost her balance. Rukia attempted to stop the fall with her elbows. Specks of dirt sprayed on her face.

She glanced up in annoyance, but it took a second to register what she had just done. All the men in front of her had jumped apart from each other and were now hopping around. Jets of water shot out in every direction, raining down on anyone who stood on Kurosaki soil. It seemed that she had stepped on some sort of sprinkler activator.

As if things could not get any worse.

Rukia scrambled to find a switch to turn it off, but it wasn't long before she was noticed by one of the men. "Hey! You there!"

She considered her options: either make a run for it, or face the wrath of Byakuya Kuchiki. The former sounded much more appealing at this point, but she knew she couldn't outrun that Neanderthal of a policeman.

She considered using her feminine wiles on him- but quickly decided against it. The last time she tried to seduce someone resulted in a minor neck injury and almost the loss of a limb. Needless to say, her inner femme fatale was somewhere deep, _deep _inside of her.

Rukia paused and flashed the man a sugary sweet smile. She raised a hand and gave him a quick wave. "Hi there!" she said in a chipper voice.

Water dripped down his face as he approached her. "Are you Rukia Kuchiki?" he asked between ragged breaths. The man bent over and rested his hands on his thighs in exhaustion.

_Someone had one too many doughnuts_, she thought with an eye roll. "Depends on who's asking," she replied.

"The police," he deadpanned while gesturing at his uniform.

"What the hell are you doing out here?!" Ichigo's voice hollered from where he was standing.

Rukia shot him an irritated look. "That should be _my _line!"

Ichigo fought to move closer towards her, but the men kept him in place. Finally fed up, he furiously shouldered the two guys and broke free from their grip. "Would one of you turn the off the damn sprinklers and unlock these handcuffs already?!" he shouted furiously. He let out a kitten-like sneeze soon after.

Rukia didn't have time to wonder how a sound so cute could come out of a boy who was so angry. She quickly got down on her knees and groped around for the switch. The bearded man reluctantly released Ichigo from the metal links while Rukia did this. Once she grasped onto the activator, she turned the knob to stop the water from flowing.

The policemen started to fuss about their wet clothing with incomprehensible muttering.

Ichigo used both hands to ruffle the excess water out of his damp hair. He staggered towards Rukia. "Are these _your _people?" he pointed angrily at one of the men standing around, who just so happened to be Hanataro.

No one had a chance to say anything once the dark presence of Byakuya loomed behind them. "Rukia," he started with an ambiguous tone. "Stand up."

Her eyes grew wide at the sound of his voice. She slowly lifted herself off the ground. "Yes brother?"

"Uh Rukia-" Ichigo cleared his throat uneasily as he started to point at her. "You might want to-"

She glowered at him before turning around to face Byakuya. His expression immediately turned sour as he abruptly looked away. "Dry yourself and get dressed in appropriate clothing- _then _I will speak with you." He grabbed the white dress from the man holding it and tossed it her. He glanced at Ichigo. "You there with the obnoxious hair, go make yourself useful and provide Rukia with towels. We will be waiting in the car, and don't even _think_ about performing any funny business." With that, he prompted Hanataro and the policemen to follow him to their car.

Ichigo scratched his neck in annoyance. "_Man _that guy seriously needs to lighten up." He flinched when Rukia suddenly let out a shrill noise.

She stared down at her chest in mortification. The water made Ichigo's T-shirt completely transparent. Her pink bra was now fully exposed for the world to see. She quickly crossed her arms over her breasts as a deep red stained to her face. "Why didn't you say anything? !" she cried out exasperatedly.

"I _tried _to but you wouldn't listen!" he exclaimed. His face suddenly softened into a smug look. "And I didn't peg you for the powder puff pink type. Hey look it matches your face," he teased as he waggled his fingers in front of her.

Rukia swatted his hand away. "Shut up," she muttered. "At least I'm not _naked_."

Ichigo growled. "_Excuse me_, but what are these that you see here?" He pointed at his boxers.

"You're a closet bunny-lover aren't you! I knew i-"

Before she could finish his sentence, a group of teenagers speeding past them in a convertible started wolf-whistling while guffawing loudly. Rukia rolled her eyes when one of the boys stood up in his seat to make obscene thrusting motions.

Ichigo and Rukia started to speed-walk back inside the house in embarrassment. "Why didn't you wake me up last night?" she asked through grit teeth while they marched.

"I don't know! You looked so tired and- and _peaceful _and shit, I didn't want to disturb you," Ichigo exclaimed.

"Well because of your lapse in common sense, my brother is going to hang us both! I wasn't supposed to go to your house in the first place, let alone _stay over_," she huffed.

A faint creak from the hallway was then heard. The two of them whipped their heads around when their ears picked up on the sound. At the doorway, Isshin Kurosaki was lingering with an amused quirk on his lips. He raised his eyebrows at them. "No no, don't mind me. Carry on with whatever you crazy kids were doing."

Ichigo picked up a stray slipper and threw it across the room at his father. "We weren't doing anything you crazy old man!" he shouted impatiently.

"Your clothes- or lack thereof- suggest otherwise," Isshin cracked up before slipping away.

Ichigo let out a sigh. "Sorry about my idiot dad. He's not usually this bad-" he then paused for a moment, "- okay, I take that back. He's _always _this bad, but at least he has one redeeming quality- he's a pretty great doctor."

Rukia shook her head and smiled. "I don't mind him too much…" she trailed off while glancing at his glistening chest. Her eyes quickly averted. "You should probably put some clothes on," she mumbled.

"You can keep those clothes _off_," a boisterous voice suddenly squealed in excitement.

Ichigo and Rukia snapped their heads around for the second time at the entrance. A tall and curvy lady came bursting in with a camera hanging around her neck, or rather, resting on her enormous boobs.

"Rangiku?" Ichigo's eyes bugged out. "How did you get in here? !"

'Rangiku' flipped her long locks behind her shoulder and grinned. "Oh come on Ichikins, every girl knows how to pick a lock as long as she has a credit card handy," she said with a wink.

He stared at Rangiku in disbelief. "Wha- Rukia do you..?"

Rangiku let out a laugh. "God I'm just kidding, your front door was open!"

"So you just let yourself in," Ichigo said dryly. He frowned when he realized something. "Hey- why aren't you in class?"

Rangiku ignored him, and put a hand over her collarbone once she noted Rukia's presence. She smirked at their disheveled appearance. "Oh was I interrupting something? I'm terribly sorry! But I have urgent news, and don't worry, it's _great _news!"

"News from you is never urgent…_or _great for that matter," he muttered under his breath. "And nothing is happening here God damn it! The reason we're soaked is 'cause-"

"_Soaked _huh?" Rangiku smirked teasingly. "And Rukia? Come shopping with me one day and we'll find you lingerie that's slightly less 'Grandma Pearl-esque' and more..._flattering _for your body." She held her palm out in front of Ichigo's face to stop his sputtering. "Anyway, you kids can do whatever you want. I'm just here to tell you that you've been chosen to be one of the men for our annual charity Date Auction!" she informed him excitedly.

Rukia turned to peer at Ichigo when he instantly took a step back. His expression looked like he had just experienced hell.

He frantically raised his arms and made the shape of an X in protest. "Oh _fuck no_!"

* * *

I apologize for this piece-of-crap chapter. I've been putting it together over the past few months so there was never any flow :S Please leave a review anyway, and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!


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